zzz...y??

sometimes, u cant blame it on anyone. but, its not very nice to let others know about how u really feel. and, neither is it ok to let ppl look at ur face when u are in a very bad mood. mayb i cant blame u, cos u were born with tat kinda facial expression, don blame it on ur parents....dono how many times i have to tell myself this to make me feel better, tat u were borned with this kinda face. its a torture to lok at it day and night! u will nvr realise this. u know why? cos, u find urself very pleasant. when a person smiles, he or she looks nice, whether or not they are pretty or handsome. however, when u put that look on, u know ppl are not borne to bare that look k? we are not bound to swallow all that!

i just cant wait for next may, when things will change. i will have my freedom. no one will disturb me during my sleep, and i can sleep in peace. i find it very very annoying, but, can i say anything? with ur temper, haven't we quarreled over this b4? and? what u think it has brought us to? ur changes? any?? NO! thats ur prob u know. u have to know, that i have been very tolerant with u, in and out of ur ways. u know wat i really need now? some peace!!! to be able to sleep and enjoy wat I as a human have the rights to! tats y, i have to say that, if u cant afford to get what i am planing to, just think y i cant take it anymore. its like...so sickening!!!! ur attitude! i know thats ur way of treating ur family members, but bare in mind, do i look like ur family member? no, and io wont want to be also. loud ppl!!! gosh! try to spare thoughts for others. its very important!!! haiz...i really dono..u have a real serious prob here.

when u said and told ur probs on getting a room here cos its too ex for u, do u know tat u are being very selfish? not everyone has to think for u and und ur situation and actually go ur way. really, i cant wait to actually leave at times, to go bac, or out, but, u know that I PAID for what i should have? u have no right to do this. too bad, u never appreciate and this is wat u get. i can find a room wherever i want, i don give a dam on the price, as long as they have responsible housemates and some quieter ppl. i am happy with tat. trust me, u wont really und wat a hard time i am goin throught! but, i would say, no thanks to all. its really enough!!!!!!!!!

didididadadadododo

its like...wow!!!! my life today was really scary!! 1st thing in the mornin, got myself into some real big trouble. so many things to deal with. so many last minute probs that i cant handle. but, had to make a decision. in the end, alls well...thank god!! its tiring la...but, still managable. but, i need a break!!!! sat i have to go to pj campus to make some bigger decisions...zzz...this is goin to kill. sun do publicity. mon give notes. so many many things. sat next week will be the 1st test. bored.....haiz...save me......................................................................................................................................

this is it la...

tell me, wats the point? i went to tutorials today, and to find out that my tutor expects us to memorize definations of term, when its a management sub. instead of having us to fully und the term, its rather, she wants us to vomit out word by word, sebiji sebulat. apa benda ni?? eh...if thats the case, wats the point of goin to lecture?? to go there, is to make sure we und the whole concept, and will be able to apply it in our future! is tat not it?? but, wat she wants is us to vomit wat we have memorized. not wat we have learnt! this is so mad!!!!! i really cant accept this fact and i find it stupidly rediculas!!!!! to me, it seems that the education system nowadays are replying more on wat is in the text, rather then having us to und, apply and use them to help our company and the country. its more like, asalkan betul, memang dia akan tahu macam mana buat nanti. wat??

this is so stupid!!!! the education system needs some revising, and i find it very important to be able to say out the meaning of a particular term using our own words, cos it will determined if we really und that term or not. unless this country is meant for dudes, cos, all they can do is memorise, but, not apply.

is tat not we always have to do for out eng papers?? explain in ur own words... then wat else?? wats the point of doin it for eng, but, not being able to apply it for other subjects? is it done to kill ppl who cant do well in eng?? then...mayb everything should be sebulat bulat like in the dictionary. tat would be better.

but, i doubt my tutors and lecturer being able to give me the full defination of a term, 100% right. if they demand such, then they should be able to perform as good as of better of.

this is it la...

tell me, wats the point? i went to tutorials today, and to find out that my tutor expects us to memorize definations of term, when its a management sub. instead of having us to fully und the term, its rather, she wants us to vomit out word by word, sebiji sebulat. apa benda ni?? eh...if thats the case, wats the point of goin to lecture?? to go there, is to make sure we und the whole concept, and will be able to apply it in our future! is tat not it?? but, wat she wants is us to vomit wat we have memorized. not wat we have learnt! this is so mad!!!!! i really cant accept this fact and i find it stupidly rediculas!!!!! to me, it seems that the education system nowadays are replying more on wat is in the text, rather then having us to und, apply and use them to help our company and the country. its more like, asalkan betul, memang dia akan tahu macam mana buat nanti. wat??

this is so stupid!!!! the education system needs some revising, and i find it very important to be able to say out the meaning of a particular term using our own words, cos it will determined if we really und that term or not. unless this country is meant for dudes, cos, all they can do is memorise, but, not apply.

is tat not we always have to do for out eng papers?? explain in ur own words... then wat else?? wats the point of doin it for eng, but, not being able to apply it for other subjects? is it done to kill ppl who cant do well in eng?? then...mayb everything should be sebulat bulat like in the dictionary. tat would be better.

but, i doubt my tutors and lecturer being able to give me the full defination of a term, 100% right. if they demand such, then they should be able to perform as good as of better of.

i am so so so tired....haiz..need some real slp...without having to get up and make my way to the uni when i am still half asleep...zzz...save me from this bull crap!!!!!!! haiz.....love world peace....

zzz

ah...the feeling is growing day by day.
i dono...god. its not a very good thing right?
to go really into ur bf and stuf when u are not really sure about it?

no matter how sure we are, there is always a possibility. anything
can happen. we might or might not like it.
that's for sure.
same goes to me. its just tat...
i am really missing my baby.
we are in this long distance relationship and
i really cant wait to see him again. we just met each other early this month...
and
he will only be here again to see me next month. middle of next month.
oh god....the missing is a torture....

it has only been bout 3 months??
i never thought of putting serious thoughts into this relationship.
mayb its because i don really have faith in it. i am scared.
mayb the past still haunts.
and, i am feling it.
i know that its the past, but ppl learn fr it right?
tat's wat i am doin...

we are from different family background
and race
he is punjabi, and i am a chinese
i dono wat my parents will say
but, i think i am really into him.
i dono how i can be so vulnarable to let my feelings grow too much.
as for him, he used to b a playboy
he has the height, the looks maybe, and
he is a state tenis player
but an injured one, to be precise.
haahaa...org cacat.

but, i dono how he became tat serious and
i was just trapped in his game.
mayb its just me being weak
but, i like that weak feeling to take over me.
he cares for me, although a little too much
which makes me a lettle hard to breath
and his parents are so strict
which makes me scared.
i wonder if there would be a day when his parents will stop us fr being together.
cos, thats really goin to hurt me a lot!

i find this relationship growing
and he is partly responsible for this. of cos...
he is my bf!!!! duh....
but, i hope this will go far,
i am tired of changin my partners.
cos, i love him!

people

there is a kind of human personality in thie world, which till today, i don quite understand. they tend to think that other poeple want them, are so very into them. they think that the world goes round all around them only and it does not include anyone else but they themselves. this is a really selfish kinda thinkgin, and this attitude makes ppl go really irritated at times. its not that they don have any common sense, but, rather they think too much for themselves. mayb they should just remember that this mother earth in over populated?? duh...!!!

that day, my fren just played a very immature prank which made all of us really dumb fucked! i cant imagine that this kinda things are actually happening to a 20yr old. making ppl feel her importance...crave for her presence and more over, her existence. everyone is god's creation, and whether or not u are noticed among ur frens, u are. when u make frens with them, u have already gotten their attention. y bother to please them and go their way then u have ur own principles and personal thinking?

i really do admire those ppl who are down to earth, speak what they want to say and really mean it. they can change their previous views and comments, but, one thing, remember that when u make ur 1st remark, nvr be tooooo sure of what u say. i mean, always make sure u leave some road to bac of to at the end of the day. u can say lots of things u want to, ur own feelings and perceptions on certain matters, but nvr go over board when commenting. this is so that, next timw when u change ur mind, ppl still can accept that u HAVE changed ur mind. imagine someone who always gives really terrible thought over some things and is all out to disapprove on certain matters, always making their innitial views bull crap. thats really stupid. try to be more polite in the manner u present so that ppl don get offended.

i have a fren who always gives very strong 1st oppinions on certain things. like eg, i got this tube, sea blue color. i was really happy cos not only i liked that color, i loved that design. the 1st thing she said bout my tube was...its a nice design..but the color sucks! ok...fine...i accept, cos u might not like this color, but the next thing? she got herself a sea blue slipper and claimed it to be nice in color...thats y she got it.

now, that's really over my limits. y does she have to give some hard strong comments without using her brain to think b4 hand? i mean, its a color, and colors are beautiful! come to think of it, its best to think twice b4 u speak.

there was once a saying, a wise man changes hs mind, a fool nvr. but, hello sister! u are not making urself any wiser by changin ur mind cos u said it sucks!! and now u are telling me u like this color? like duh??!!! u're making me dislike u.

i have another fren, who likes to make others know how much well known she is, and that she is very very popular, not among guys, but as frens...ppl WANT her!!! ok...at the begining mayb it really looked like it is..but after some times, u have to make greater effort to really make ppl feel that way u know? i mean, its not that i am jealous or what so ever. i wont have time for so many ppl too by the way. i have limited time and i cherish those who left their footprints in my heart. but, i nvr give others a false impression. which obviously makes u sound like a bitch. haiz...no..u are a nice fren, but mayb u should stop talking so big. it makes ppl wonder are u really that wonderful. its not easy, but, just be sincere. it will bring u a long way.

human relationships are one of a kind. its really not easy, to just forget what others have done to put u down, or make u worried and even destroy ur entire life. but, i should say, mentally strong i am, i have to accept lots of other ppl's so call jealous looks and thoughts. when one makes achievements too early at times, this is what u get from those who think they have better abilities. their disgusted looks on their faces. its a challenge to me, and i wanna see who laughs last coz to me, these are all bull crap easy peanuts for me to handle. i am from a girl sch, and i was trained to be a bitch. although i cant be one coz its really disgusting, i use that kinda medicine on my bitches.

finally!!!!!

yeah...long since my finals....i have lots contact with my love--my blog!!! gosh...its been like ages! goodness me! i miss it so mcuh!!! 1st was the telephone port probs, then came the internet service probs...arr...all's over!!! yeah!!! haha.....

its not easy....coping with life these days, and i find myself not being able to control my feelings like the past. mayb its because too many things came at a time, and making things really bad was the amount of stress that a society can bring. although just for a short while, things make the situation worst and its really bad. people think that a chairperson is always telling ppl to do things and just talking. NATO?? no! do they actually know how much things they have to plan and overcome b4 that? no one knows at all. they will never. its not till they are in this position when they actually realise that organizing something is not just talking.

this happens with me and my secre. i personally think that, its caused by a million unbalanced feelings inside her, that eventually turns out to be unsatisfied with me, as the chair of a society, when all the credit goes to me. now thats a very very naive thinking, and sometimes, very very stupid too. nobody can stand alone, and achive anything alone. no one is that great. no one can be successful without the help of others. human cannot stand alone, and therefore how is it possible for them to win alone? we work as a team, and do things together. nothing can be done alone. even mistakes are bared together.

this is how i personally feel.

however, when that inmature person starts taking responsibilities, and wanting to organized an event for the society, that's really a great way to test ur abilities to see if u are really capable of doin so. u can see and experience it urself, whether U are really a good leader. as u said, NATOs are a bunch of shits.
but, on the other hand, when that particular event is not getting anywhere, it is time for the chair person of the society to get things right. to figure out a solution and to look into matters, to see if it can really be done. after looking, if the answer is still no, it is of cos for the very best of the society to cancel such an event and think of better ones.
my sec is unable to accept that fact, that the event under her cannot be achieved at the goal is not met all the time. mayb she has her own reasons, personal and of cos reasons for the society if that's the best. i dont think personal reasons are y anyone should insist in carrying on this event. if its the ego, that's the worst thing on earth that can happen. if u feel that u cannot let go of that, i think that's attitude prob. (looks like its not easy planning huh?!?!?)

definately, if challenged, i wont wanna give up. seeking for advise on how to continue the event, thats another way to improve. never the big headed. if u cant accept new ideas, new ppl, and new things, u are never a good leader. what are the 3 things that a leader must have? do u all know??

1) able to accept new ideas!
2) able to acceot new ppl!
3) able to spend time for urself!

these are the 3 main things a leader must have. its really important. when i went for a course, this is what i have learnt, and really think that its really true. because, if we cant accept new ideas, we will never improve. cant accept new ppl, we cant comunicate. cant make time for ourselves, we will never be able to think of what would be the best, thinking of our actions, self managing.

i as a chair, i have always been telling my comitteess to give me opinions, ideas and their own suggestions. this is my way of conducting a meeting. i want responses...questions...and some times if possible answers! a 2 way comunication. every chair has their way of doin things, and i will nvr know if mine is the way it should be done. that's y, responses are so valueble to me. there is always room for mistakes, no one is perfect, and i am learning too. thats somethings every human should be able to und, that they are goin through this process. no one is perfect.

a wise man changes his mind, but a fool nevers. this is so true. and i cant always garuantee that my decisions made b4 were always the last and final. i can always change my mind, if i find a better, more effective manner on doin things!

there is so much goin through my mind. and i really dono where to start, where to end...zzz...this is like a pile of shit. i cant satisfy everyone, that's for certain, but, i am sure i can satisfy majority. so...mayb time and some soul searching will do the trick.