o...

tuang....saD sase la!
hee..too bad. so how?

one two three

the song goes...one two three four five, once i caught a fish alive, six seven eight nine ten, then i let it go again. why did u let it go? cos it nit my finger so. which finger did it bite? this little finger on my right.

hee..results was out this mornin. another let down. i wonder y izit that i cant really do well in my studies. since young, the more i tried, the worse it becomes. but, how can i noT worK for it? i wanna do well. and excel too.

sadly, tats not how things turn out to be.

this sem, will be a busy one for me. and, i doubt that..i will be free. well, wat to say, things ar elike tat. hope the less i care, the longer i will go
haha...

angry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am so so so angry with him! ish!!!!!!!!!!!!
dam it la!!!!!! dam pissed off!!

my life is so uncertain with him
everything is uncertain. dam it la!
say and say...but all bull crap. i will never believe anything he says, even when he says, i love u

never ever again

haiz..terrible. this night is terrible.

how can he say he'll be comin bac at 12 oni? 12 is such a bad time.
he said this afternoon, his comp at night oni can use the msn to on0, and on web cam. now..he's out. i cant believe tat. its sickening. can u imagine, the one u want is not with u but some one else.

worse is, i hav class at 8 tomorrow. i don care! i don wanna stay up for him. i wont! i will slp at 11. i will make myself slp. don matter..

sickening. its not tat i don let him go out but..its like..everytime he's free..i am free. but, when i am free..he's not. not not not!
hate it so much.
and he just called to say forgive him when he din know anything at all. just ask for some stupid forgiveness and not bother. yulp, not he din bother..i din tell.

i'm goin for a break~ hope so.

sometimes, things can be so sickenin..u just don feel like doin anything else. just nothing!
ish..dono y am i so mad bout it. ppl get use to not having to talk also. same oni.
talking bout talking on the hp, ish...even more sickening. his stupid hp making so much noise and its when he's talking to me oni!
ONI me!! wonderful!
i just hate talking to him now! hate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just wish i were def. i wont hear anything anymore! i wanna be just alone! no one knows wat u are thinking! wat I am thinking in fact! if oni i don expect anything, then i wont feel let down. never expect anything anymore! haiz

FRIM

the day at FRIM, just last sunday, 25th may...was one of the best days. haha..fun all the way.

we went to frim at kepong..climb some hill tat was..kinda hard. it was hard!! tire all of us out.
then..had some nice breakfast and went to uncle wong's bro's place. fruits with movies all day long! enjoyyyy...lah!
mangoes....orange...and nangka...o!!!!

then had some nice dinner. lalala...

then was time to go bac home. ish....sad case. home here means..sg long. a place full of work load and nothing else. haiz...
a new sem is to begin soon! wat is takes for us to keep living..
for me..my dong!
hehe...lovelove!

to be or not to be

well and famous enough...she led her life well. but, never though that such a thing could happen to her.

i tend to wonder y izit some girls..just cant let go. they know how much pain and suffering it brings, and how much joy they would miss in the future. but..they just cant let go. sometimes, to me, when the time is right, and u think its not good to carry on this relationship anymore, letting go would be the best way to solve things out. but..she just never did.

again and again, she had to go through the same old sickening prob that makes her heart bleed, but, she never let go. y?

woman are like creatures born to earth to accept some fated rebel. something tat theY can never run away from. they have to go through the pain and torture during the ancient times where men were so much more a joy to them. compared to women, they were killed and sometimes, brutally treated. how much more do we have to go through b4 the world accepts us as..one of a kind? izit tat cos, we are more vulnerable? i doubt so. men are as, as we are.

some how or rather, some got through it well, and smoothly. others...were..still yet in that circle of fated pain.
i find it totally not acceptable. if i were her, i would just leave it and go on with my life. no matter how much it hurts, i am sure, it will oni at the beginning!

starting a new sem

good or bad..i dono..not up to me to judge now. but..i do hope for the very best. hehe..

the dong!!

yupz!!

yupz!! i don care, how long i gotta wait for u to come over, all i want is u to recover.

i may be emotional at times, and sad but...i will only be for awhile. if u don mind, just bare with my nonsense for sometime k? hee...

i know ur condition is just as bad as u think it is, and recovery is a long long way. but...u said u can do it if u want to! so...u must!!!! u will be so proud and happy. ur parents will be too! and me too!! hehe...everyone will be!

sometimes, its hard...but, like u said, its a challenge. although i don like these challenges, but...wat can i say? they like us so much. ish!!

so, its like 2 different thing. with u in ur perfect state, and being with u. hehe...

its gonna be extra hard, not seeing each other for yrs!! althoug..oni few months la. hehe..it seem like yrs wat!!
@@

tats y...no matter wat, go donkey!! heeh...and, i will be with u forever. lalala!! lovelove!!

rayson's gift

complicated times are always difficult.
so are relationships when they are complicated. u cant tell y sometimes, ur girl is actually leaving u for a man 10yrs older than we are. well..no choice, she made her decision. gotta accept the fact that she is no more urs.

i cant imagine y she left u, u are...mature, stable, as u don memorize but..understand ur work and get good results. mayb its the lack of meeting that she don quite get it at times la.

well, wats urs is urs. don worry, u will find another better girl in the future. heeh.. jiayou!!

mayb she's not wat u want, tats y god said, now is the time for her to leave u. so..take it as a challenge. although she left u b4 ur finals, u will pass smoothly through. no sweat!
hehe....

我知道

我知道，你一定会有很多考验，而我只能在这里默默地等你回来，你不知道这样有多痛苦，但，我也只希望你可以加油，一定要加油。
虽然，现在的我，不想说话，也没心情做任何事情，但，我知道你一定有自己的苦衷。
我也应该为你加油，但，我姓你不会了解我现在的心情。

你跟我讲故事，是要我开心还是要我明白你现在的苦衷？
我明白你的故事是要给我个小小的劝告，但，忠言逆耳，你不知道吗？

我们很久没见面，你知道我有多么期待考试的结束吗？但你又跟我说你要开刀，没那么快来。我痛在心，应为。。我们到底什么时候才能见面？

你叫我不要哭，因为眼泪是宝，是金。但你一字在让我哭。。。我又能择么办？你要我怎么做？
你知道我有多想你吗？你知道这样有多痛苦吗？

你常常问我有没有支持你，我肯定有啦！我为什么不会呢？你知我的宝，你知道吗？
我会坚强，你放心。

mother's day

when a person is having trouble, the 1st place they will think about is home. home is where the heart is.
no matter how far away u are from home, when things go bad, hehe..its home u wanna run to. well, some times, tats really very true. when i am in deep shit, i wanna go home.
i never felt like this till i realized how much importance my family members meant to me. i realized that my mummy depends so much on me to help her make things easier in the house, and my dad too, when he is so busy. well, i just wanna go bac and do what ever i can to just help them out and make things easier for them.

when they get older, we will see tat, they are getting more and more cuter, and having all sorts of thinking. hee..some that might even make u laugh. although it might be stupid, and irritating to them. its a different thing to me.

this year, its my 1st time not being able to celebrate mother's day with my family and..some how, its rather sad. i really do feel tat, its a pity i cant. my cousins are all bac in jb and tonight they are having dinner at some restaurant. the food there is great..hehe..but, tats just part of the whole thingy. the main thing is to be with all of them, celebrating this day.

mummy can be naggy at times, but still, i find tat more funnier than ever. last time...its a different story though..hehe..now, things are much better, and the only thing is that i am not small anymore. keke...cant really manja her like last time, although i still do..all the time.

happy mother's day. from a far far daughter, although only in kl.

day 1

a terrible start it was, but, yet...kinda interesting for all of us. with all the experience and all, haiz..tiring tiring tiring. tats all i can say. all work and nothing else, i just don und how to get it goin. well...things will be much better sooner or later. hehe..

if only things are much smoother, then life would be much easier. i dono...its like, stuck in between, and not getting anywhere, wonder wat are we actually goin towards. haiz.

ever felt like, its when u are needed only then u will be appreciated? well...tats it la. the feeling is so so so real. too bad, we don have a choice do we? zzz...

i hate it when we cant get things moving anywhere. all will be just stuck there and nothing will be moving at all. tats life. nothing more but, crap. but, everytime, i dono y its like, i am wrong all the time. no one else is, only me. and me. its just time to accept tat things are just meant to be like tat. and, i cant even complain. i say anything, or give any remark. nothing. just shut up. well, normal la.
but, wat can i do? just gotta accept things the way it is. one day, i will be stronger, stronger than ever. and i wont cry for stupid things like tat, i wont be down or angry. i wont have any feelings towards this kinda things and i wont have to be emo. all of these nonsense will just puff! turn to dust. i guess when tat day comes, my life would be much more happier, cos, u will be happier too! hee...and when u are, i will be too. tats the whole thing about.

yulp, we made a deal, u dont like it, u don call it a deal, but, i do. cos, its something tat i gotta change my attitude towards and make a whole lot of difference. see, u see it at 2 different angles, and, things would be much easier for both of us. u will see. hee

but, for the time being, i cant help being disappointed with all of this crap comin into my life. like u said, i should be more understanding and all, well, i will. no worries.