can u imagine another day in this country? cause i cant!
no way can u imagine. how this piece of potato like country can come all way till today. year 2009. wow...tats like not far from this so call nation wide vision and mission on wawasan 2020 but still, accept the fact, wse're way far from that!!
i was just having a talk the other day with my aunt, note: a woman who has not finished her so call spm and yet, has been a few years of teaching experience in a small primary school in a small kampung.
i realise that her generation and my generation did not have much of a gap. the one we always call, generation gap between teens and parents who think they cant handle their children well?????
yea...tats the one.
so, we chatted and laughed. talked about money, the currency and also...of cos, our future in Malaysia.
when i went on marketing with my parent, i felt as if, i could not even survice out there without their money. accept the fact that i am already working, plus, my pay as a fresh grad is considered....in fact is...the highest...
I STILL CANT PAY FOR MY EXPENSES!!!!!
so yea...its a tough life out there.where taxes are as high as in australia, food are double the price u pay in singapore, cars are so much more expensive due to tax, tariffs, bla bla bla...plus the many hands that u go through to get something into the country.....
why are we still here? singing the nation's song? wat the hell.......i am seriously broke!
Saturday, 31 October 2009
wat it takes to be nice??
ah, its so much more happy when u realized u are not the oni one being silly. ehhe....u make silly mistakes sometimes. but...never forget, u are remembered. like....some guest who came to my house just this noon? hey...no offense here but, its still my house...
so..they came, and i just walked out of the kitchen.
man! i tot i said hi??
life's tough when u are dressed up for the weekend, doing house work. right? i mean, who wears prada and gucci while doing their cleaning?
GET REAL???
so...mayb i look really like a maid, but still, i am not invisible?? or...am i?
well, i said hi and these so call, look like rich asses din even bother to look around. the guy, looked and turn his head away. wow.....
ok..mayb i should do some soul searching. fine. but...thanks to my parent, i was given way much education and exposure to wat civilization is called in real world. not MALAYSIA. ehhe..
yea...lots more to realised wat u have lost out there...
who can tell wats right and wrong? no one. but one thing for sure, this is totally impossible. rude ppl should be just getting rid of. WORLD PEACE. no doubt, there is room for improvement.
yes...u say forgive and forget. i will forgive them. u know why? cos they lack accuracy and believe. the beauty of human is they can chose wat to remember and wat to forget. plus, no offense, the more educated u are, the more simple u are in terms of all these crap.
so..they came, and i just walked out of the kitchen.
man! i tot i said hi??
life's tough when u are dressed up for the weekend, doing house work. right? i mean, who wears prada and gucci while doing their cleaning?
GET REAL???
so...mayb i look really like a maid, but still, i am not invisible?? or...am i?
well, i said hi and these so call, look like rich asses din even bother to look around. the guy, looked and turn his head away. wow.....
ok..mayb i should do some soul searching. fine. but...thanks to my parent, i was given way much education and exposure to wat civilization is called in real world. not MALAYSIA. ehhe..
yea...lots more to realised wat u have lost out there...
who can tell wats right and wrong? no one. but one thing for sure, this is totally impossible. rude ppl should be just getting rid of. WORLD PEACE. no doubt, there is room for improvement.
yes...u say forgive and forget. i will forgive them. u know why? cos they lack accuracy and believe. the beauty of human is they can chose wat to remember and wat to forget. plus, no offense, the more educated u are, the more simple u are in terms of all these crap.
Wednesday, 28 October 2009
ughhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i seriously hate my life. to the max k.. i wish i were dead. or mayb lost. so tat i don have to come bac and face reality. sickening world.
and i feel like...i don belong. just like all those silly tean kids! ugh!!! wat if we really don belong? why wanna make excuses for all these? its sickening! practically, no one loves it. so....just go away. leave la. life with no plans are so much better with lives with a plan. no plan, no pain. no trouble and no worries. sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and i feel like...i don belong. just like all those silly tean kids! ugh!!! wat if we really don belong? why wanna make excuses for all these? its sickening! practically, no one loves it. so....just go away. leave la. life with no plans are so much better with lives with a plan. no plan, no pain. no trouble and no worries. sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, 4 October 2009
两种老公 两种人生
A:她：“老公。帮我接杯水呗。”
他：“石头剪子布。谁输了谁去。”
她：“算了。我自己去吧。”
B:他们坐在一起看韩剧。她起身。
他问“干吗去？”
她：“去接杯水。”
他：“你坐这看吧。我去给你接。”
女人多可怜。她对男人唯一的要求就是“疼她”。你可以什么都没有。只要你疼她。她就有足够的勇气把自己的下半辈子交给你。
A:他晚上下班。给她打电话“宝贝儿。我晚上和朋友出去吃饭。”
她：“你不是答应我陪我逛街的吗？”
他：“改天吧！” 她默默地流泪。为什么每次都是这样？
B:他下班的时候打电话给她:“亲爱的。别人给我一张奥运会的票。巴西队啊！一会儿我去 看球了啊。” 她：“哦。这样啊。好吧。”
他：“怎么不高兴了？”
她：“你忘了。上周说好今天我朋友和她男朋友请我俩吃饭啊。”
他：“哎呀。对不起亲爱的。我忘记了。那我把票给别人吧。我陪你去吃饭。” 她：“不要了。吃饭可以改天。或者你先去看。我们等你。” 他：“那不行。答应你的事情必须得做到。再说你自己跟他俩在一起像电灯泡似的。你肯定不舒服啊”
她：“没事……”
没等她说完。他很强势的告诉她“好了。听我的。你收拾一下。我一会儿去接你。”
其实女人不是不懂事。只是。她需要碰上一个懂事的男人。其实。情侣之间。是可以互相的。
A:他：“我晚上出去吃饭了啊。”
她：“几点回家？”
他：“九点之前肯定回家。” 九点半，
她：“你怎么还不回来啊？”
他：“十点。肯定回家。”
十一点。十二点。一点。两点…… 后来。她不再打电话催他。因为她知道。对于不守承诺的男人。一切“肯定”都是“未必”。
B:他：“我晚上出去吃饭。九点之前肯定结束。然后我俩去看电影。”
她：“你能那么快就结束吗？”
他：“放心吧。我答应你了就一定能！”
快到九点的时候。
他：“收拾一下吧。我马上就到你家了”
信任。是在一件一件小事中建立起来的。
A:她生理期。身体不舒服。顶着疼痛洗衣服。收拾屋子。 他坐在电脑前面玩网络游戏。 她干完活。躺在床上。长出了一口气。
他看了她一眼：“宝贝儿。辛苦了！”
然后转过头。继续玩他的游戏。
B:她生理期。很难受。起身准备洗衣服。
他拽住她：“你去床上躺着。我来！”
她：“你会做家务吗？你自己洗过衣服吗？”
他：“不会做可以学着做啊。以后你身体不舒服的时候。我当然得独挡一面！”
女人需要的不只是甜言蜜语。哄她几句。她也许会给你一个微笑。但是实实在在的呵护。她会对你一辈子的感恩。并且会回报给你一个温暖的家。
A:她给他拿了一包榛子。然后她去洗衣服。 回来的时候。榛子已经被他吃得所剩无几。
B:她拿给他一包榛子。然后自己去收拾屋子。 回来的时候。她看见电脑前面放了一堆剥好的榛子仁。
女人很感性。她炫耀你对她的体贴。就好像炫耀克拉钻一样。这么廉价的买卖。用一点心思就能收获无比的财富。
A:他说：“你是最好的。”
她问：“我哪好？” 他：“学历高。能力强。长得漂亮。对我又这么好。”
她笑了。
B:他：“你是我所遇到最好的女孩儿。”
她：“我哪好？”
他：“你对身边的每个人都很友善。很无私。对人对生活总是很感恩。一个人有一颗善良的心。会让周围的人感觉到温暖。你是我见过最善良的女孩儿。伤害你的人都应该下地 狱！”
她哭了。
一个人。是因为你对他好。所以觉得你好。一个人。是因为懂得你的好。所以想要对你好。幸福的恋人。首先应该是一对彼此欣赏的知己。
A:她：“老公。帮我接杯水呗。”
他：“石头剪子布。谁输了谁去。”
她：“算了。我自己去吧。”
B:他们坐在一起看韩剧。她起身。
他问“干吗去？”
她：“去接杯水。”
他：“你坐这看吧。我去给你接。”
女人多可怜。她对男人唯一的要求就是“疼她”。你可以什么都没有。只要你疼她。她就有足够的勇气把自己的下半辈子交给你。
A:他晚上下班。给她打电话“宝贝儿。我晚上和朋友出去吃饭。”
她：“你不是答应我陪我逛街的吗？”
他：“改天吧！” 她默默地流泪。为什么每次都是这样？
B:他下班的时候打电话给她:“亲爱的。别人给我一张奥运会的票。巴西队啊！一会儿我去 看球了啊。” 她：“哦。这样啊。好吧。”
他：“怎么不高兴了？”
她：“你忘了。上周说好今天我朋友和她男朋友请我俩吃饭啊。”
他：“哎呀。对不起亲爱的。我忘记了。那我把票给别人吧。我陪你去吃饭。” 她：“不要了。吃饭可以改天。或者你先去看。我们等你。” 他：“那不行。答应你的事情必须得做到。再说你自己跟他俩在一起像电灯泡似的。你肯定不舒服啊”
她：“没事……”
没等她说完。他很强势的告诉她“好了。听我的。你收拾一下。我一会儿去接你。”
其实女人不是不懂事。只是。她需要碰上一个懂事的男人。其实。情侣之间。是可以互相的。
A:他：“我晚上出去吃饭了啊。”
她：“几点回家？”
他：“九点之前肯定回家。” 九点半，
她：“你怎么还不回来啊？”
他：“十点。肯定回家。”
十一点。十二点。一点。两点…… 后来。她不再打电话催他。因为她知道。对于不守承诺的男人。一切“肯定”都是“未必”。
B:他：“我晚上出去吃饭。九点之前肯定结束。然后我俩去看电影。”
她：“你能那么快就结束吗？”
他：“放心吧。我答应你了就一定能！”
快到九点的时候。
他：“收拾一下吧。我马上就到你家了”
信任。是在一件一件小事中建立起来的。
A:她生理期。身体不舒服。顶着疼痛洗衣服。收拾屋子。 他坐在电脑前面玩网络游戏。 她干完活。躺在床上。长出了一口气。
他看了她一眼：“宝贝儿。辛苦了！”
然后转过头。继续玩他的游戏。
B:她生理期。很难受。起身准备洗衣服。
他拽住她：“你去床上躺着。我来！”
她：“你会做家务吗？你自己洗过衣服吗？”
他：“不会做可以学着做啊。以后你身体不舒服的时候。我当然得独挡一面！”
女人需要的不只是甜言蜜语。哄她几句。她也许会给你一个微笑。但是实实在在的呵护。她会对你一辈子的感恩。并且会回报给你一个温暖的家。
A:她给他拿了一包榛子。然后她去洗衣服。 回来的时候。榛子已经被他吃得所剩无几。
B:她拿给他一包榛子。然后自己去收拾屋子。 回来的时候。她看见电脑前面放了一堆剥好的榛子仁。
女人很感性。她炫耀你对她的体贴。就好像炫耀克拉钻一样。这么廉价的买卖。用一点心思就能收获无比的财富。
A:他说：“你是最好的。”
她问：“我哪好？” 他：“学历高。能力强。长得漂亮。对我又这么好。”
她笑了。
B:他：“你是我所遇到最好的女孩儿。”
她：“我哪好？”
他：“你对身边的每个人都很友善。很无私。对人对生活总是很感恩。一个人有一颗善良的心。会让周围的人感觉到温暖。你是我见过最善良的女孩儿。伤害你的人都应该下地 狱！”
她哭了。
一个人。是因为你对他好。所以觉得你好。一个人。是因为懂得你的好。所以想要对你好。幸福的恋人。首先应该是一对彼此欣赏的知己。
Sunday, 27 September 2009
blood...thicker than water?
when ppl always tell u, no matter wat, blood is thicker than water...think again.
today, in this 21st century world, can tat be true?
i doubt. no more is such a thing as ppl being closer to their family anymore.
don believe it??
try it. just look around and u will see. complication between the ties of family bonding is so much more...sophisticated. and....sad.
a true storey bout a father wanting a son's money will never be forgotten. the shame and anger that the family has is no more than just, as big as the amount requested from the father. sadly, nobody knows. its hard to be the oni child left out. but...nobody knows.
still, the rich and famous son was never forgotten. of cos, they want his money so badly, it would be the next big thing to drive him to his grave for $$.
thankfully, the son was strong.
'just give the money la walao!!' who cares? aunty also bo chap! but...the drama is always a gosip among the other cousins. ah....the ones who saw oni one part of the story, and forgotten even HOW this man here was brought to earth.
'why wanna suffer? just give the money man!!!'
yepZ! why wanna make things complicated? just give the god dam old man his money. or rather, just donate that whole lum sum la! wats the big prob? he's begging u for $$$$. he needs it. cant u see?
'but he's my dad not a begger out there. ' ur dad? goodness!!! how impossible to believe. i cant imagine my dad asking me for money ask forcing me out of the house? tats blooding old dirty!
'yes that is!! very! its not right? wats right now?'
oh...for christ sake, just let go! ppl around him WHO ARE SENSIBLE of cos, are telling him to just LET GO! why? to bring himself happiness and the moment of pleasure.
'moment of pleasure? wat nonsense??' ah...this is something u don't no.....the moment that u can allow urself to give money to useless and stupid ppl who don't know how to save up for old age! ppl who don't know wats the meaning of saving for a rainy day. ppl who don't know how to work with both hands and feet still on the ground. ppl who are lazy, useless and meant to beg their whole lives!!
is that not??
'hmmm...sounds better being put this way. but...i'm not recognized as his son!'
no? nvm...its a shame to be anyways. why wanna make life perfect? no one is! so just vie him the god dam money!!!!
ok boss!! set! cash in cash out for donation. better karma, better life.
good good. thats how life is suppose to be. just let go and get a life! why wanna gosip bout ppl's money when U don have it? jealous? ah....tats a good reason. or not..mayb u just wanna be the only rich successful cousin. ah...don worry. u're not alone.
"do u know how many rich ppl are there in malaysia considering the amount of bribe u take home everyday? thousands of them. who cant afford to buy a merz today? when u take bribe? silly is it not?"
so...old man will take it and go. writing in his will, he says, i will only give it to my other 3 children. why? COS THEY CANT GET A LIVING THEMSELVES WITHOUT THAT SUM OF MONEY! sad isn't it? laughin...
but...tat son, who is not recognized by his own family, who has family members who WANT his money ONLY, who is drifted appart by manipulations of his own family's wrods towards him, who has NO father and NO siblings.
he, my frens, he is the one with the best mother ever who had died, and allowed him to taste how she has died. she left him, to bring up this family, who, in the end, did not want him. who's father was a uselss begger. who begged for money. forcing brothers and sisters to break up their relationship and formed, a great army towards this son who is successful, rich and very famous.
wat more can he want?
a caring mother to be in peace up above.
we thank you for the joy and calmness that u have always had in heart. the love towards us will never be forgotten till forever. he missed her. her calmness and toleration was max. she was good. perfect and beautiful.
but she was gone....
today, in this 21st century world, can tat be true?
i doubt. no more is such a thing as ppl being closer to their family anymore.
don believe it??
try it. just look around and u will see. complication between the ties of family bonding is so much more...sophisticated. and....sad.
a true storey bout a father wanting a son's money will never be forgotten. the shame and anger that the family has is no more than just, as big as the amount requested from the father. sadly, nobody knows. its hard to be the oni child left out. but...nobody knows.
still, the rich and famous son was never forgotten. of cos, they want his money so badly, it would be the next big thing to drive him to his grave for $$.
thankfully, the son was strong.
'just give the money la walao!!' who cares? aunty also bo chap! but...the drama is always a gosip among the other cousins. ah....the ones who saw oni one part of the story, and forgotten even HOW this man here was brought to earth.
'why wanna suffer? just give the money man!!!'
yepZ! why wanna make things complicated? just give the god dam old man his money. or rather, just donate that whole lum sum la! wats the big prob? he's begging u for $$$$. he needs it. cant u see?
'but he's my dad not a begger out there. ' ur dad? goodness!!! how impossible to believe. i cant imagine my dad asking me for money ask forcing me out of the house? tats blooding old dirty!
'yes that is!! very! its not right? wats right now?'
oh...for christ sake, just let go! ppl around him WHO ARE SENSIBLE of cos, are telling him to just LET GO! why? to bring himself happiness and the moment of pleasure.
'moment of pleasure? wat nonsense??' ah...this is something u don't no.....the moment that u can allow urself to give money to useless and stupid ppl who don't know how to save up for old age! ppl who don't know wats the meaning of saving for a rainy day. ppl who don't know how to work with both hands and feet still on the ground. ppl who are lazy, useless and meant to beg their whole lives!!
is that not??
'hmmm...sounds better being put this way. but...i'm not recognized as his son!'
no? nvm...its a shame to be anyways. why wanna make life perfect? no one is! so just vie him the god dam money!!!!
ok boss!! set! cash in cash out for donation. better karma, better life.
good good. thats how life is suppose to be. just let go and get a life! why wanna gosip bout ppl's money when U don have it? jealous? ah....tats a good reason. or not..mayb u just wanna be the only rich successful cousin. ah...don worry. u're not alone.
"do u know how many rich ppl are there in malaysia considering the amount of bribe u take home everyday? thousands of them. who cant afford to buy a merz today? when u take bribe? silly is it not?"
so...old man will take it and go. writing in his will, he says, i will only give it to my other 3 children. why? COS THEY CANT GET A LIVING THEMSELVES WITHOUT THAT SUM OF MONEY! sad isn't it? laughin...
but...tat son, who is not recognized by his own family, who has family members who WANT his money ONLY, who is drifted appart by manipulations of his own family's wrods towards him, who has NO father and NO siblings.
he, my frens, he is the one with the best mother ever who had died, and allowed him to taste how she has died. she left him, to bring up this family, who, in the end, did not want him. who's father was a uselss begger. who begged for money. forcing brothers and sisters to break up their relationship and formed, a great army towards this son who is successful, rich and very famous.
wat more can he want?
a caring mother to be in peace up above.
we thank you for the joy and calmness that u have always had in heart. the love towards us will never be forgotten till forever. he missed her. her calmness and toleration was max. she was good. perfect and beautiful.
but she was gone....
Friday, 31 July 2009
31/07/2009
its hard to let ppl und how one is thinking. but..i was really upset this time. after a day of rushing with my work and processing, i was hit. i promise myself that i will try my very best to stay positive, and not get affected by stupid ppl out there with their dirty mouth. but...i lost..
its kinda crazy when u think u can just stop everyone else from influencing u. at a point of time, u try to remain good relations with every1. but, sadly, nobody can please every1. so cant i. however, i think by not being able to please every1, i hav brought myself into sadness and mayb....lost of job.
just b4 the end of the day, franky ong came dropping by to get his Letter of Offer. it was seriously rush hour for my and ms tan, but of cos, i had to go through more as..LO is still a new area in my line. i still make silly mistakes that usually, ppl don after being familiar. so...i had to really rush and at the same time, do my processing. (life's hard)
well, he then later...chatted with Ms tan, Mr beh and another SME. he practically spoilt my image saying that i am not good, lousy at work...and having attitude prob. in front of them...he made me loose almost everything.
well....as if he knows me well....hey..i don know him at all man!
but...wat can i say? i told myself to stop talking to him. he has done many things tat i dono how should i react. many sarcastic remarks, and hurting words. and everytime, i told myself, who the hell is this SME to comment when he is still a SME himself.. but...how long can i hold? how long can i tell myself this that he is nobody? how long can the feeling surpress inside and forget?
if i am really tat bad, by dont the branch just let me go? i rather accept the fact that i am not good, rather than being said in public bout my weaknesses. no one is perfect. but..looks likie, i always gotta be.
the worst part is being bac at home. nobody can understand that when one is sad and down, situations do not hav to be made worst...my parents think that, i always meet ppl like this sort. surely, its due to my own prob. mayb i hav attitude prob. but...is it really that bad till how my parents think? i am not a sensitive, over negative type of person. in fact, i find myself...through my own understanding of me myself and i...that...i am kinda joyful and noisy. but...looks like..projection of my image...is really gone in my own family's eyes.
wat can i say? mayb i am really tat bad. mayb...its just a challenge. but..wont this franky guy be getting over to much for now? some times, i just want to kill him with my bare arms. to let him know that i am not just a girl who is being stupid working cases for him day in day out. for goodnesss sake, i am a branch achiever. i want to see my branch that i am serving get to the top. to be top 3 in region 1. thats wat i wanna see. working together...to form that team spirit.
is this wrong?
but sometimes, i just find that...its just too far...come bac to reality, and u meet ppl like this. till today, i seriously enjoy working for the bank, and...i wanna achieve more than tat. but..if its really tat bad, my performance and work...the bank should just fire me. i will take it from there. in fact, i would in fact feel much better because...even the management feels so. by then, i hav got nothing to say. accept harsh reality with grace.
its kinda crazy when u think u can just stop everyone else from influencing u. at a point of time, u try to remain good relations with every1. but, sadly, nobody can please every1. so cant i. however, i think by not being able to please every1, i hav brought myself into sadness and mayb....lost of job.
just b4 the end of the day, franky ong came dropping by to get his Letter of Offer. it was seriously rush hour for my and ms tan, but of cos, i had to go through more as..LO is still a new area in my line. i still make silly mistakes that usually, ppl don after being familiar. so...i had to really rush and at the same time, do my processing. (life's hard)
well, he then later...chatted with Ms tan, Mr beh and another SME. he practically spoilt my image saying that i am not good, lousy at work...and having attitude prob. in front of them...he made me loose almost everything.
well....as if he knows me well....hey..i don know him at all man!
but...wat can i say? i told myself to stop talking to him. he has done many things tat i dono how should i react. many sarcastic remarks, and hurting words. and everytime, i told myself, who the hell is this SME to comment when he is still a SME himself.. but...how long can i hold? how long can i tell myself this that he is nobody? how long can the feeling surpress inside and forget?
if i am really tat bad, by dont the branch just let me go? i rather accept the fact that i am not good, rather than being said in public bout my weaknesses. no one is perfect. but..looks likie, i always gotta be.
the worst part is being bac at home. nobody can understand that when one is sad and down, situations do not hav to be made worst...my parents think that, i always meet ppl like this sort. surely, its due to my own prob. mayb i hav attitude prob. but...is it really that bad till how my parents think? i am not a sensitive, over negative type of person. in fact, i find myself...through my own understanding of me myself and i...that...i am kinda joyful and noisy. but...looks like..projection of my image...is really gone in my own family's eyes.
wat can i say? mayb i am really tat bad. mayb...its just a challenge. but..wont this franky guy be getting over to much for now? some times, i just want to kill him with my bare arms. to let him know that i am not just a girl who is being stupid working cases for him day in day out. for goodnesss sake, i am a branch achiever. i want to see my branch that i am serving get to the top. to be top 3 in region 1. thats wat i wanna see. working together...to form that team spirit.
is this wrong?
but sometimes, i just find that...its just too far...come bac to reality, and u meet ppl like this. till today, i seriously enjoy working for the bank, and...i wanna achieve more than tat. but..if its really tat bad, my performance and work...the bank should just fire me. i will take it from there. in fact, i would in fact feel much better because...even the management feels so. by then, i hav got nothing to say. accept harsh reality with grace.
Wednesday, 1 July 2009
我只在乎你
如果没有遇见你
我将会是在哪里
日子过得怎么样
人生是否要珍惜
也许认识某一人
过着平反的日子
不知道会不会
也有爱情甜如蜜
任时光匆匆流去 我只在乎你。。。
心甘情愿感染你的气息
人生几何，能够得到知己
是去生命的力量也不可惜
所以我求求你
别让我离开你。。。
除了你我不能感到一丝丝情意
如果有那么一天
你说即将要离去
我会迷失我自己
走入无边人海里
不要什么诺言
只要天天在一起
我不能只依靠
片片回忆活下去
任时光匆匆流去 我只在乎你。。。
心甘情愿感染你的气息
人生几何，能够得到知己
是去生命的力量也不可惜
所以我求求你
别让我离开你。。。
除了你我不能感到一丝丝情意
除了你我不能感到一丝丝情意
dedicating this song to u.......
hehe....wat a day...~~~
我将会是在哪里
日子过得怎么样
人生是否要珍惜
也许认识某一人
过着平反的日子
不知道会不会
也有爱情甜如蜜
任时光匆匆流去 我只在乎你。。。
心甘情愿感染你的气息
人生几何，能够得到知己
是去生命的力量也不可惜
所以我求求你
别让我离开你。。。
除了你我不能感到一丝丝情意
如果有那么一天
你说即将要离去
我会迷失我自己
走入无边人海里
不要什么诺言
只要天天在一起
我不能只依靠
片片回忆活下去
任时光匆匆流去 我只在乎你。。。
心甘情愿感染你的气息
人生几何，能够得到知己
是去生命的力量也不可惜
所以我求求你
别让我离开你。。。
除了你我不能感到一丝丝情意
除了你我不能感到一丝丝情意
dedicating this song to u.......
hehe....wat a day...~~~
Saturday, 21 March 2009
lonely
well..ppl go down telling u that, u and ur bf is in great condition and things are just great for the 2. wat do u think bout that? izit really tat way or...other wise?
1st time in my life, i felt lonely. the lonely feeling was such a piss off.. never had i felt this way b4. things were just ok, mayb a little over busy during the pass few days, or weeks, but still...the sudden stop of everything and the end to wat i call..nonsense..still made it worse. never went bac to the same happy mode.
mayb should give myself i few more days, things might just turn out right. haiz..its just a tiring way of living and trying to make positive impacts in ur thinking. together with all the negative world wide happenings...its kinda sucky to think tat things will be better soon.
aih...the question is good. WHEN? just like a few months bac, we told our selves, hang on for just a few more months, we just keep on telling ourselves, hang on, just a few more years till we find peace and our LIFE.
but...when? haiz..tired of this kinda life style. wats the point? where do we go from here? whats next?
Friday, 13 February 2009
add ons for house drama
i forgot to tell that...it was the 2nd letter already...well, none of us knew bout the 1st actually so... did she hide it from us? did she forgot to pay the bills and took them to buy her clothes that are always from sg wang till I said till yilin said....she cant stand sg wang cheaplak clothes? then she got no money to buy REAL clothes? omg...izit? izit??
omg.....looks like...somebody here...very poor but wanna act rich le....how a? hmmm..serious mental prob. imbalance of up bringing and bf status. kesian...
house drama
3 2 1 action!
all these started with a stupid bill, came bout...5 months back la. our monthly usage for elec will bever be more than 400 k....but..the bill state an amount of 900 plus. OMG!!!
yep!! and we were very angry bout the whole thing, rather...not us la, but our over reacted leader: peiqi. wakakaka....
and so she made a loud announcement that she WILL settle this bill with uncle's help, the owner la. fine..we were happy with that action. we din wanna pay kay!! zzz...siao a?
so...tats it la. we left the matter there. din ask, din question din wanna know. mayb cos we tot she will do what she said after making such big issues on it. so...yeah...(like the reporting of tsunami...bla bla bla!!!!!!)
'in the night.....all the story ever told....' ah....so sad....i am a heartless girls la. haha...writing bout REALITY and FACTS in such a blunt way..
anyways...lets continue.
just last weekend, me, sawi and peiqi went to makan dinner la. out of manners, i decided to call her. well....i was being nice k! on the way bac, lilian....hahaha....she came with this letter in her hands. and was kind of like..in the questioning mode la!!
lilian: how come this tunggakan for the bill haven settle?
peiqi: o...i called once the other day di, but no one picked up.
lilian: ah? u expect them to pick up once u call? u oni called once?
peiqi: they din pick up wat. u expect me to call everyday a? (which was like...duh?)
lilian: yilin, i think u paste this on the board. our housemates should get to know bout this matter.
(giving me the letter)
peiqi: paste la! not my fault also! i am not scared. they din pick up!!!!!
(many !!! used cos that's her way of talking, rather...communicating...!!!!! hahaa)
on the way back...as usual..silence...--------
the process was rather zzz when i had to take the letter back from her cos she took it from me. o...erm...haha...such a dramatic act of mine la. seriously..acting like siao. pretended to talk to sawi lo.
so....we got back. as usual...i dare not put it up there. i was thinking...would she take it away? if she did..no one will ever get it back!
aih..watever...lilian took it from me and up it goes for publication on our houseboard! yeah
and then...IT war started la on facebooks and msn. haa...it was seriously..COOL k...like drama actress like tat la we ppl. making it so not obvious yet...very obvious. oh dear..i dono
just on thursday, she told me (indirectly telling lilian too) that she went to tnb and they said, mayb is was the person who keyed in wrongly. but...still, we gotta PAY! omg...fark?
i was like...ah? y? she said dono. zzz....(konon kesian la...tapi more like bodoh sial)
so now..the bills are not settled, she goes off to damansara konon uncle masuk hospital very urgent? tapi asked, uncle came out from hospital..zzz!! =='
so...i personally wrote on the publication forum tat i want to have a meeting, house meeting la to settle this bill asap. of cos i did not use lots of !!! cos..its not my way of talking to ppl like as if shouting. so...just like tat lo.
and last night....hahahaa....as usual...written on the board:
' there will be a house meeting on monday night, 7pm! make sure everyone attend!!!! by leader!!!!!!'
imagine the tone in her tummy....!!!!!!!(shouting gila!) hahahahahahaaaa...but...i cant imagine how she felt. when her leader name was there.. wakakakaaaa.....
so...the story continues on monday. till then...we all hate her!!!! (i am shouting now)
Friday, 6 February 2009
fly
i would love very much to fly...fly to a place without worries
to a place, we find...peace and nothing else
without having to use our brains...
and no one to disturb our life..and make things hard
although that's impossible..
lets continue finding it. because, its near
i can feel it...comin nearer and nearer. just round the corner
oh...i nearly forgot to tell, where to go for that
the easiest place my uncle told me...
is to find peace from within.
and within would be from US. our heart
our heart is a strong thing. it doesn't need any help..
it helps itself. and sooner or later, peace is with us
in us, within us, and around us.
that's how to find peace.
that place, just just in the mirror when u look inside it.
i want to go there too, and it takes a lot of hardwork.
i am sure we all can reach that state one day.
and i am sure, we will be very pleased bout it.
so...go on and find it. i will meet all of u guys there soon too!
we should start from today.
crazy love
i just can never forget...how my fren put it:
'love, its nothing but a bunch of feared ppl gathered together to make things a little better..'
wow...i never knew that she tot of love that way. simply saying that ppl are scared. there is fear in the world that we don't know, and ppl are being in groups to avoid the fear and keeping themselves safer from what?
i don't know myself....
i have another fren, who finds that quarreling is the only way both parties learn from their mistakes, and it take a break up everytime to learn.
well, its their life...they find thats the best way to learn. why not? but...i cant help finding that simply putting love in those words are a little too....over done. its not bout the wordings, its more or less....the meaning and the way she treats love.
its such a endless debate. some of my postings here are all bout how love is seen, is felt, is made out between 2 parties, and more of less...bout love.
and yet...its still growing.
its a world of?
i read an email. inside with pics of these. how can it be? what is the world turnin into? some kinda movie acting with real life murder?
i was shocked. more or less, disgusted. i was feeling the food inside my tummy comin out. the look of those dead. with the happy faces of those who killed...
why?
is there real trill inside those actions? if so, why are they so happy? who was it they killed with pride and joy? who?
there was a pic of a kid. and his eyes were closed. i hope it was a fast and quick one for him. he was only bout 7 years old.
i don't see ppl wanting to do that, but...they pride of doing it was the biggest question in my head. was the ppl they killed some one they were hating? if yes, why the need to kill?if only things were that simple, just cutting of their heads to solve millions of problems...i think the world would be so much more in peace, ppl with no sense will just be ruling the world, and wats left in them is nothing.
i don care how much pain there was but, i am sure, they are the ones who misinterpreted the teachings. the good actions to be tot bad. ah...wat a world. all has been felt and shown. unhappy ppl. but...what can be done? nothing....
violence is all that can do it. now i see...why the US kills....and why they kill.
who knows one day, we will all just end up dead without knowing our faces are on the webpages sent around....and nothing is done. not even a single thing can be done.
Saturday, 31 January 2009
either or
its bout time, its either this or that.
its either i try my best to make the very best out of me, and leave UTAR with my head held high, or i will never even be able to be confident in my whole entire life.
this is the moment where i gotta try hard. really put in all the effort and work towards the goal. might be impossible, but at least i TRIED.
thesis, yes, its a very boring thing and we hav been working on it for such a long time. yet, its so far from ending. watever, i don care. lets just finish off from where I started and get going!
Tuesday, 27 January 2009
messed up
ah....i don't know what left inside. nothing to see, nothing to read. i can't see MY future. its a dead end. nothing achieved, nothing done. nothing to be happy about, and nothing to jump around.
this is the moment where i find myself really going nuts. so many choices and yet, so little time. worst of all, so little BRAINS....
haiz...when life comes to a point where u gotta make the right decision, where turning bac is oni the kind of cases for rich ppl (no offense), you gotta be really sure. one wrong turn is like driving the in roads of KL, TOLL and PETROL. they all need tons of $$$$$....
its a sad thing when ppl ask u: 'how long more a girl?'
well, thank you very much for telling me that...i have oni 4 more months to go and i gotta make the decision right and fast.
then they continue with: 'so...whats next a? working life in coming already lo...!!'
which of cos, they seem happy for me of cos...
i nod and smile and say, i am not too sure...bla bla bla...
they continue with: 'aiya...enjoy ur uni life 1st la. no more chance already...'
haiz...i hang my head and think bac... ALL these years and sems, what was done in my uni life that was so memorable? all i remembered was...RUSH HOUR OF MY OWN EPISODS.
thinking back, working life vs uni life? which is a better choice?
uni life, u don't hav time to dress urself up and go out for dates because u gotta rush for projects and also the so call, meetings, with thesis, for ur finale year. thinking bout the 1st yr, was just all about little boys and girls, breaking up and going through a whole lot of places u tot it was new. then u work on things that hav no results and also...nothing to do with ur CGPA and resume. and u wonder...wat are u up to all these while?
then, u talk bout working life. u work work work...aimlessly towards UR goal, but oni to fullfil ur BOSS' goals. while...over here...boss gets good results, ur pay go up too. not ur goal? helping the company is also helping ur future. stablizing it.
and i turn around i ask myself, what am i doing? i would be the only person on the whole entire penisular of MALaysia, to say...well....i cant wait to go to work.
so...in the end, what do we hav? missing secondary life? we would hav just stopped there and remain happy for a very long time. but...human la, they wanna ahve recognition. so call, with papers to justify they are smart. so...the whole world starts going on for degree, masters and even phd. masters and phd, research and work. which proves u to be a level higher than ppl, and smarter because, u are masters of phd (no offense).
so...any ending to it? some one try to be the next genius and invent a killer machine. it reads ppl's mind. telluing the machine, please kill me when the time come, silently. the machine will do so and thank god, i am DEAD...
this is the moment where i find myself really going nuts. so many choices and yet, so little time. worst of all, so little BRAINS....
haiz...when life comes to a point where u gotta make the right decision, where turning bac is oni the kind of cases for rich ppl (no offense), you gotta be really sure. one wrong turn is like driving the in roads of KL, TOLL and PETROL. they all need tons of $$$$$....
its a sad thing when ppl ask u: 'how long more a girl?'
well, thank you very much for telling me that...i have oni 4 more months to go and i gotta make the decision right and fast.
then they continue with: 'so...whats next a? working life in coming already lo...!!'
which of cos, they seem happy for me of cos...
i nod and smile and say, i am not too sure...bla bla bla...
they continue with: 'aiya...enjoy ur uni life 1st la. no more chance already...'
haiz...i hang my head and think bac... ALL these years and sems, what was done in my uni life that was so memorable? all i remembered was...RUSH HOUR OF MY OWN EPISODS.
thinking back, working life vs uni life? which is a better choice?
uni life, u don't hav time to dress urself up and go out for dates because u gotta rush for projects and also the so call, meetings, with thesis, for ur finale year. thinking bout the 1st yr, was just all about little boys and girls, breaking up and going through a whole lot of places u tot it was new. then u work on things that hav no results and also...nothing to do with ur CGPA and resume. and u wonder...wat are u up to all these while?
then, u talk bout working life. u work work work...aimlessly towards UR goal, but oni to fullfil ur BOSS' goals. while...over here...boss gets good results, ur pay go up too. not ur goal? helping the company is also helping ur future. stablizing it.
and i turn around i ask myself, what am i doing? i would be the only person on the whole entire penisular of MALaysia, to say...well....i cant wait to go to work.
so...in the end, what do we hav? missing secondary life? we would hav just stopped there and remain happy for a very long time. but...human la, they wanna ahve recognition. so call, with papers to justify they are smart. so...the whole world starts going on for degree, masters and even phd. masters and phd, research and work. which proves u to be a level higher than ppl, and smarter because, u are masters of phd (no offense).
so...any ending to it? some one try to be the next genius and invent a killer machine. it reads ppl's mind. telluing the machine, please kill me when the time come, silently. the machine will do so and thank god, i am DEAD...
a thought...
if it was not for her, you would not hav to go through much of sorrows.
if it was not for her, you might hav already been free.
if it was not for her, you would hav gotten away with all the money if u did not resign.
if it was not for her, you need not work till today.
if it was not for her, life would be much of stressfree.
if it was not for her, things are much easier between u and the other.
if it was not for her, u need not hav to hav such a sick life
if it was not for her, u need not worry that much.
if it was not for her, ur hair would be much blacker than now.
if it was not for her, the house might hav a guess room.
if it was not for her, you need not hav to be embaressed in front of ur frens
if it was not for her...
many things could hav happen, a whole new life actually. but, sadly, she was born. the main actress in a film need not be the one who is the good one. sometimes, bad one wins the game too. depending on how u wanna play the game. in deed, she was not ment to be. however, she has to carry on the life of a flower. the name was need not mentioned, but however....very much remembered. the whole story of one child, who made the history of a family changed. yet, much was suffered and grief..they did not hav a choice.
in short, life was sad for the yoh and it has never been better. although happy moments come and go...it was never a long memory, be4 a sad one came. aih...wat more could hav been said than done? they did not hav any choice at all. it was all god's will. the power laid not in their hands, but on the merciful god. they tried their very best, but things never got any better.
should they give up or should they continue? the pain was torturing and not at all nice. they were missed inside a whole lot and not wanting to look forward. future was a word of sin in their life. or rather, it never hav been there in their life. they never dreamt of anything more than it to stop. and not to mention, the life was just as bad as when the japs came in and ruled their life.
was it that bad? they thought for long long tinme and the answer is no more then a nod on the head. why? why had it had to be this way? the life of a lonely boy. the life of a family yet to be carved. they only wanted peace and happiness. one would think it is not possible to hav those in that kind of situation. it was never even thought of. not even mentioned. the life ot the yoh.
wat more would they want and pray for? nothing but death. it was a funny moment when they had to wish for something. ah...during birthdays. a sad moment to remember. nothing of much was even celebrated. but rather, a sin day they all grief and mound about. why...why did they come to life? why were they brought?
because they were sin and therefore brought to repent? ah...the moments of rather believing so than to defend and seek for justice. the eyes of their lives had never been more than...just a thought, more than just a thought...
if it was not for her, you might hav already been free.
if it was not for her, you would hav gotten away with all the money if u did not resign.
if it was not for her, you need not work till today.
if it was not for her, life would be much of stressfree.
if it was not for her, things are much easier between u and the other.
if it was not for her, u need not hav to hav such a sick life
if it was not for her, u need not worry that much.
if it was not for her, ur hair would be much blacker than now.
if it was not for her, the house might hav a guess room.
if it was not for her, you need not hav to be embaressed in front of ur frens
if it was not for her...
many things could hav happen, a whole new life actually. but, sadly, she was born. the main actress in a film need not be the one who is the good one. sometimes, bad one wins the game too. depending on how u wanna play the game. in deed, she was not ment to be. however, she has to carry on the life of a flower. the name was need not mentioned, but however....very much remembered. the whole story of one child, who made the history of a family changed. yet, much was suffered and grief..they did not hav a choice.
in short, life was sad for the yoh and it has never been better. although happy moments come and go...it was never a long memory, be4 a sad one came. aih...wat more could hav been said than done? they did not hav any choice at all. it was all god's will. the power laid not in their hands, but on the merciful god. they tried their very best, but things never got any better.
should they give up or should they continue? the pain was torturing and not at all nice. they were missed inside a whole lot and not wanting to look forward. future was a word of sin in their life. or rather, it never hav been there in their life. they never dreamt of anything more than it to stop. and not to mention, the life was just as bad as when the japs came in and ruled their life.
was it that bad? they thought for long long tinme and the answer is no more then a nod on the head. why? why had it had to be this way? the life of a lonely boy. the life of a family yet to be carved. they only wanted peace and happiness. one would think it is not possible to hav those in that kind of situation. it was never even thought of. not even mentioned. the life ot the yoh.
wat more would they want and pray for? nothing but death. it was a funny moment when they had to wish for something. ah...during birthdays. a sad moment to remember. nothing of much was even celebrated. but rather, a sin day they all grief and mound about. why...why did they come to life? why were they brought?
because they were sin and therefore brought to repent? ah...the moments of rather believing so than to defend and seek for justice. the eyes of their lives had never been more than...just a thought, more than just a thought...
Sunday, 18 January 2009
no CNY
my sister's fren, not being able to celebrate CNY, just because her mother is away, not free.
now, tat is something i would seriously be sad of. haiz....i wonder how could tat be. sometimes, ppl are born into families that...mayb don't really bother much of this kind of events. but...to me, its something worth our time, our sparing, and our attention.
i just don't und.
aih
its the last day donkey will be over at cambodia. i miss him so much. and...i hav decided to write out something here...with this moment of emotions...zzz
now i know y i love u so much, because u are always there for me no matter what happens. u make time out for me, and make me feel loved and cared for. no matter how tired u are, u never fail to be with me, mostly mentally. ur absence makes me realized ur importance in my life, not just as a partner, but more than a partner. u make me realize who i am with u, and i will never forget that. every night, b4 i slp, i will think of u, miss u, and wonder how are u over there. and then i start to realize how much u have done for me, when i am not around and not there for u. just because i am busy with my things, my situation does not allow me to contact u, or watsoever, now i know how much it takes to go through those moments. thanks for being there for me. and i really do miss u. emailing u without getting any replies makes me sad. i find myself not wanting to mail u not because i don't love u or i am bored of not getting any replies, its because i don want to make myself sad while typing out things tat are not true just to make u happy and not worrying over me. in the future, who knows what might happen, how many more trips like these u gotta go. and i don't wan to be the one who is stopping u. i should be the one encouraging u to go. i want to be that girl. that person whom after a tiring trip, comes bac and she's there smiling, welcoming you.
thats y donkey, i know now, what u are to me. love love!! all it takes it just a little more time to get used to it right? it all comes with some thing to learn from.
Friday, 16 January 2009
sobsob
ok....i cant do without u. i admit it. i feel so sad now. i dono and i really dono y. i just don't get it. how do u get over it when i am away and cant contact u? u must be very strong.
i am not. i am really not. i cant help it. sorry...i lied that i would be strong, sorry i lied that i will keep myself busy, sorry i told u i would u reading my work and doing my thesis.
cos i just cant.
i miss u already. and its sick. just cos i was out whole day and not having the stupid bat to call u, does not mean i don wanna talk more to u this mornin. i really wanted to. but...u were busy there at the air port.
the moment u left, i just felt....lost? i got u a sweater i and really hope u will love it. mayb it to keep me occupied while looking at so many clothes and hav something of u tat can be felt in my arms? i guess it must be stupid.
and u will oni be bac on monday. how i wish i could go over to meet u the next weekend, but its CNY. how? after CNY, u should just let me tell u my time table. how i wish i could. now...
i am sorry for keep on having to procrastinate my entire schedule to let u know. i always felt that u will be there for me. well, u are still. wat i meant was, there for me to tell and talk to. looks like...we gotta hav a short break.
well, u said u will call me on monday when u are back, how i just wished u would call me just right now. i don't care.....i really don't.
now, i wonder how are u over there. good? tired? hungry? cold? i dono....its such a so near yet so far place u know? i dono how to describe it right now. i feel very sad. missing u so much.
i told u i will be fine. looks like i am not. oh god......and while writing, i cry....i think...and i feel very bad. bad cos....i cant be strong and stand up. sorry baby....
back in action
its time of the yr again. once more, we hav to embrace the crazy sem of each yr, the one with CNY in it. the jan long sem....
again, my frens, we gotta be extra strong, working hard and actually harder b4 we finally grad.
this is the time of the yr and the worst time tat we could be graduating, so...wat the hell, lets just enjoy every moment we have left in our uni life and make sure we party to the max!
i cant imagine its tat fast. i turn 22 soon this yr, and i am really looking forward to make something out of this sem. and...i think i just got tat in my mind. (xoxo-secrets babe)
well, all i cna say it we hav dam pissing subs this sem, but....LOVE THEM!!! yeah!!
we go girls!!
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