messed up

ah....i don't know what left inside. nothing to see, nothing to read. i can't see MY future. its a dead end. nothing achieved, nothing done. nothing to be happy about, and nothing to jump around.

this is the moment where i find myself really going nuts. so many choices and yet, so little time. worst of all, so little BRAINS....

haiz...when life comes to a point where u gotta make the right decision, where turning bac is oni the kind of cases for rich ppl (no offense), you gotta be really sure. one wrong turn is like driving the in roads of KL, TOLL and PETROL. they all need tons of $$$$$....

its a sad thing when ppl ask u: 'how long more a girl?'
well, thank you very much for telling me that...i have oni 4 more months to go and i gotta make the decision right and fast.
then they continue with: 'so...whats next a? working life in coming already lo...!!'
which of cos, they seem happy for me of cos...
i nod and smile and say, i am not too sure...bla bla bla...
they continue with: 'aiya...enjoy ur uni life 1st la. no more chance already...'
haiz...i hang my head and think bac... ALL these years and sems, what was done in my uni life that was so memorable? all i remembered was...RUSH HOUR OF MY OWN EPISODS.

thinking back, working life vs uni life? which is a better choice?


uni life, u don't hav time to dress urself up and go out for dates because u gotta rush for projects and also the so call, meetings, with thesis, for ur finale year. thinking bout the 1st yr, was just all about little boys and girls, breaking up and going through a whole lot of places u tot it was new. then u work on things that hav no results and also...nothing to do with ur CGPA and resume. and u wonder...wat are u up to all these while?

then, u talk bout working life. u work work work...aimlessly towards UR goal, but oni to fullfil ur BOSS' goals. while...over here...boss gets good results, ur pay go up too. not ur goal? helping the company is also helping ur future. stablizing it.

and i turn around i ask myself, what am i doing? i would be the only person on the whole entire penisular of MALaysia, to say...well....i cant wait to go to work.

so...in the end, what do we hav? missing secondary life? we would hav just stopped there and remain happy for a very long time. but...human la, they wanna ahve recognition. so call, with papers to justify they are smart. so...the whole world starts going on for degree, masters and even phd. masters and phd, research and work. which proves u to be a level higher than ppl, and smarter because, u are masters of phd (no offense).

so...any ending to it? some one try to be the next genius and invent a killer machine. it reads ppl's mind. telluing the machine, please kill me when the time come, silently. the machine will do so and thank god, i am DEAD...