what's love?

love is when 2 ppl, willing to put in the right amount of sacrifices and be together to cover each other's weaknesses and be part of each other's life. that's love. love is being to accept ur partner's weaknesses and strengths, and cover up for each other to make things perfect. thats what love is all about. 

when u cant stop thinking of each other, thats love.

when u need his or her smile to make that day, thats love.

when a laughter from him or her makes u feel warmth, thats love.

when u are content, thats love.

whatever manner u define love, its all bout 2 ppl being together. thats it. it takes 2 to be together. and...thats going to take 2 hearts full of sincerity to get there. 

my fren, u should wake up from this and make ur life better. the world is round, and there is no end to it. so.... all the best and get off this idiot asap! i am telling u...its the only thing u can do for urself. make ur life worth it. and...its u who can do it! 

giving

that piece of cake.....

ever wondered what piece of cake do were being offered? i always thought that life was such a thing that, none of us can change. they call it fated. 

now... when my uncle told me lots of en-lighting stories, i realized that, its all up to us to chose that piece of cake. 

when things seems unfair to us, we will, out of anger and dissatisfaction, we find we were being neglected by people and friends. 

then.... again we think later. do u think... we could have made a change of out own fate? can we decide for our own? y were we in that sad situation? ever wondered? 

my uncle said, whatever happened to us, is some what like a karma. hmmm...

it might be true... or rather, a fact that what goes around, comes around. and i kinda believe it so. if i were to make life better for myself, i should try to make life better for ppl around me so that i will have a better environment and circle of ppl. however, there are times when... ppl are the sickening part of our whole living cause. 

its hard to change others. lets change ourselves. it would be much easier. i am trying hard to change my perspective of life and the reason of living. christian said, we are born with sins and we have to clear them with the help of the Lord. but, to me, no offense.... i would prefer to know my reason here as a human. being more higher level than all other mammals, we should have a lot more to give. 

to me, patience is very important, and thats what i am building inside me. the patience that i want myself to have naturally, without any environmental influence. 

if only....

if only things were better, tats what we all would always say. is it not so? my baby just told me he was so so so fed up because his mum kept his things somewhere and cant find it. despite this, his mum cant be contacted cos... she din bring her hp with her. 

well, if only things were in our control. but, again, think... is tat possible? can we control everything out of our control? can we control someone else's action? absolutely no. we know that very well ourselves too. 

however, we cant help being affected by other people's action right? when it comes to people we sort of trust more and prefer, when they do things that... makes us pissed, we're affected. when feelings come in, emotions react, we are affected already. so... close ones are the ones who can really hurt our feelings. don u think so? 

and of cos, we cant be responsible for any of them too! what they do, they have to be fully responsible. although there are times we get drag into the situation innocently, too bad then. 

so... if only is a very big word. apparently, it might or might not come true. its a dream in fact. so... lets just pray it does come true and make things easier for us in life. 

club moods...

of cos we were waiting for our fren to pick us up. clubbing days...

its tiring, of cos!! but, i dono y i still like to do. wakaka!! say i am crazy, but i seriously hate the after effects. the feeling of being tired and dead. haiz...

but the fun during the night...usually considered great! but.....the smell of the after effects drives u mad! washing the hair would take bout 2-3 times b4 the smoking smell goes off. then the clothes. aih...i don bother, i throw everything i have inside the laundry. haa...

yulp, thats wat clubs are all about, the tiring and yet dam expensive drinks. wat to do? i dono. but my biggest hope is to go with my classmates b4 we grad. a whole big gang, just to chill out. no dancing and tiring moves. makes my legs go wobbly. haha..!!

questions

there are a few questions i have to ponder in the next few weeks:

what are my lifetime goals?

what are my goals for the next 3-5 years?

what are my goals for this comin year?

what are the things i need to do in order to accomplish this year's goals?

what am i going to do this week? and the things related to my goals for this year?

after achieving them, what rewards shall i give myself?

so many questions to plan for my life. some are there, fixed. some, i would really love to change, like...what i am suppose to do and stuff. changing life basically. hehe

still pondering....as for those who reads this, do think bout ur own goals too!! its...kinda important i think. haiz...its from this worksheet i got while attending some workshop. guess it might be useful. they said, don make it too high up there. sounds like never view ethics as too high an act. make it moderate, and find our way through all the obstacles to get to it. 

guess i would be looking forward to think bout my own answers ...till then...

finals mood

finals mood=none!! omg....wats wrong. 

i dono izit because of the short sem thingy that makes me really sleepy! i seriously dono y. 

its so boring. reading some stupid moral. debating with what we call, useless theories and endless things regarding common sense in a very difficult manner. 

now...tell me tats something u und.....

the situation in seriously out of control. haiz....i keep sighing and its not good! its like very pessimistic and negative. aih....and its not good!!!! for my emotions and my study mood. 

ever wondered y we always tell ourselves we need to find the right mood? i think mayb its some stupid excuses tat we're giving ourselves. yes yes....i know i am giving it to myself now too. cant help it. feelings over rational thinking and responsibility....i think emotions win.

then we learn bout some religion. wow!!! all the funny words, hindu for eg, sunskrit? haiz....mad. practically, we in dooms day. haa....

they say, theoretically, people who score in moral are those who....don have moral. but....wat the hell, its just some stupid memorizing power, which i dont have currently...YET!

i just cant wait for this sem to be over, next sem comes in...and i think....it would be more....of a finals mood. it makes me feel very guilty if i don't study, yet....i have no mood to. well....tell me bout being a last min girl...its the 1st paper tomorrow and i am slacking like its not even important! @@@@...yea yea....i know.....

oh no!!!!!

oh dear...moodless. no mood to study, or do anything. 1st day bac after kinda long study week at jb. and....aih aih....sad case. NO MOOD!!!! ish!!

watever it is, i am in no mood at all, and i hate it. i gotta study, and donkey is comin. i cant imagine wat will i become then..haha..!!

but, i don want him to go over to his frens place in between...so...i MUST study now, to be able to spend a little more time with him. we're both going bac on the 18th. and.....sad case is...we WONT know when we are meeting each other again. well....the so call genting trip is cancel so....looks like..i might make arrangements to go to penang...

but, tat's if he wants me there...waa....emo emo emo.

watever.....

if i wanna go...he cant say much. hehe...lalala

but....again, i will think, who cares of this stupid finals.. i don wanna think about it. i wont be able to get 3.0 anyways...so...wats the point? 

yeah

happy day!!!! went shopping with hui, yunyun and sit looi!!! mid valley, metro jaya great sales!!! i bought so much but oni for 210bucks!!!! imagine...all branded stuf. hehe

one shirt for daddy, rm119 and oni rm35bucks!!! imagine. then....a dress, miss sixteen from 350 to only 150!!!! wat the hell????

and also a hag, from 119 to only 24!!! now tats wat i call...madness!! yeah!!

it was great la..

i also got a blusher for 14bucks!! hhe....dam happy.

then mummy wanted me to spend off the isetan rm50 dollar voucher. so....went to get some really expensive, not worth buying kinda blouse. but, ok la...with the vouvher, it oni cost me additional 29dollars. not bad!!! hee...my frens said it made me look thinner. which makes me happy!! haa

it was a great shopping spreee....which i have not gone for a really long time. buying like madness!! haa...its was real craziness!! next would be celebration for donkey. cant wait for that. hehe...its the next most important thing in my  life besides being with him

hehe....

excited. hahahaha....

sometimes, my life is great. its even greater when i am happy. 

accounting

i seriously have no interest in accounting. then y am i planning to do my acca? and....y am i not loving it since i HAVE to do acca? i am in such a mess. i love my life. its full of conspiracy and weird things happening. 

tats my life. welcome to my life.....

i see.....

now i know, how ppl change things tat would cause others to get into trouble. i should try them out myself too!! y not, makes no harm.

ppl done tat to me a million and one times, but....i don care. i wonder y izit that i bother so much just cause peiqi did the same thing just like any other bitch would do. mayb cos i rally hate her, and really dislike her a lot. tats y i cant stand it anymore when she does tat.

look what u have done!!! what a simple sentence and yet, has lots of meaning. 

i think that there are times when i cant help finding her really irritating and sickening. but, in life, there are so many of these kinda ppl. why should i bother? 

i tot of that many times, then....wondered was it because she did so many things to me that i feel sick and pissed off. i dono if things will change better for me if i just keep quiet. or....would things turn any better if i made her life miserable too. 

and i kinda wondered why shu yee and baoyi like her so much. i really don und. her facial expressions kills me inside out and makes me really sick. i dono why..they enjoy that moment of PAIN~~~

sometimes, ppl just open up to the world one day and they realize frens are no longer frens they tot they were. its a whole different story. did baoyi send her resume to me for checking? making use of me? and...y din anyone tell me tat  they were goin to go for interviews? i was left out. i din know. 

abby said that peiqi told me last night. peiqi herself told her bout it. wow...see how smart ppl manipulate stories? i was the one who went to ask her. i was the one who asked baoyi if they called her. i was. and yet, this is the feedback. why should i even bother in the 1st place? mayb....its like tat.

mayb i was born to be in a condition where....i wont have anymore close frens like van. mayb she will be the oni one left. well, its ok...i can have many frens...but none whom i can trust at all just like how i trust van. too bad. 

considerate??

whats the meaning of....being considerate. ?? what?

anyone???

let me tell u what some ppl define considerate.

peiqi defines it as....making sure her stuf are in a safe condition without having her to inform others that something of hers if different from others. for example: she has few packets of opened powder drinks in the fridge inside a box. well, oni she knows its opened. wow! and when ppl arranges the fridge so it will be neater, it spills off her stuf cos NO ONE knows its open. so..she finds that very inconsiderate as it has made her powder spilt. 

i find that a little too selfish. mayb others din think of that...which there is a posibility that no one would put open stuf unzip into a box, closed when no one can touch wats inside. right?

well......how do U define....CONSIDERATE??

wondering

i wonder....who is more important...me or ur roomie. haiz....sad case. its such a stupid thing. thanks to u, i know that i am very irrational for acting for myself. thanks

how could that be?? zzz...everyone has their rights. and its not my right to keep myself safe? my health? no?? ok...i din know that i am always to put myself into different danger in my life. 

i wished i would get deaf for good. i wont have to hear u talk while ur roomie makes noise at the back trying to attract attention from god knows how. 

that's the best. 

what kinda person am i??

i seriously wonder.....

haha...i started thinkin of this question when one of my fren's member was admitted into the hospital. after a whole week of hospitalized mood, its the assignment week. both assignments to be submitted on the same week, which is tomorrow!

so...he is a weak guy. in fact, in and out of clinics and hospitals. very frequent. kinda boring, and not very strong for a guy. as a vegetarian, he should be....stronger, due to healthy living.

but, hey...dud!! its the wrong thing here. and i kinda got tired with his sick life. if i were a boss, i would have fired him a long time ago. i am cruel? because i want to fire him of his weak body? business is business. however good we are, there should be ppl being sacrificed. ppl like these who stand in the way for better up coming achievements, should be long gone. i am growing, so is the business. how can i have such kind of weak yet irresponsible person in my workplace?

same goes to a group. be realistic. come on. how long can u keep him up? i wont. for sure. how long can u give monthly salary to people like this? not for long. trust me. tats life. 

my fren there...abby, has to do most of the things. i dono....how should i say it but, its the person who is in that situation only can they feel how much torture it is. i remember....those days of...'sial' face they call it. haha...they are long gone now. what i relief!! now...there are ppl around...and these kinda ppl should be more considerate. 

do everything urself then. no choice. thats wat one of the other saint members said. wow.....i was impressed. i am!!! really!!!

very...

how could someone say that? oni saints can. cos they are the most extra ordinary being on earth. regardless of what come to them....come what may. yes...praise the lord. 

i see.....

i was looking through msn pms just now and i saw this very interesting note.

'when u are at the top, don forget where u came from'

very interesting. when ppl reach a place where they are very high up, somehow.....many forget where they are from. just like u, cheryl. u have obviously forgotten where u came from. 

do you remember how u actually talked in front of all of us? do you remember a amount of shit u have shitted in front of many of us? the amount of crap u ate and fed us??

i was feeling a little happy with the progress...but, never think that it is when its not. u know its not. we know its not too. try not telling anyone, and u should hide it from everyone, not a single sole should know. don't u think so??

my dear, there is a time when ppl had fate in u. now...it has all became hatred and boredom. y?

u ask urself. 

never fear whats comin on, but be proud that u HAVE problems comin up. this means that there is progress!!!!

however, running away from problems is so wrong. however, when we cant take charge and make the change, the best is just run away from it. are u not capable of taking charge now? my dear, u could have make a lot of WONDERFUL changes, many PROGRESSIVE actions. but did u? 

ask yourself.

i ran away from a problem that i personally cannot change. other ppl's attitude problem. but, i never ran away from MY OWN problem. oni a coward will do that. only a FOOL would. and, it sounds a lot like u my dear.

laziness has made u a very stupid person, someone who cannot think straight. i heard from someone i think very sensible and responsible that u are proudly lazy of ur actions and being very very silly in making decision. making underground movements to get ppl out of their positions, and make them give up. that's u my dear, very dirty little rat. 

u are not looking around properly, blinded with LOVE. or...izit love i should call, someone who makes use of u to take actions on others he does not like?? only a fool would be tricked. and that sounds just so much like u my dear. 

now i ask myself, what was it that made u out-stand others the last time. and it was ur mouth my dear. and that very same mouth that might bring u down, my dear chairman. its ur choice my dear chairman. a path u can take, or change, depending on urself. 

tc my dear chairman. u sound oni like the best, but....sadly, u are the worst of the worse. 

war!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

war is like...trouble. trouble comin to an end is like war comin to an end. 

war is forever there. there wont be any century without war. internal or external. 

we learn that war is indeed in need. or is it just the need of power?

in war, there are good and bad people. in war, either one wins, the other loses. when the time is right, the flag is flagged. when the time is not, they will be burn. 

in war, who benefits? the greatest man at the top. of cos, not much of a gain. 

will malaysia have war?? just like all other countries? i think its bout time to have war!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its interesting and malaysians might like tat. it attracts attention of media and the WHOLE world. hehe...tats a whole lot of importance. 

wat was taught

wat was taught when we were young is no longer being remembered. wat was a major morals tat were implant in our brains were no longer applied. how true that this life is all bout education?

we pay almost half our lives studying, paying for education, to learn whats needed and wanted to make that living. but, how far are we going with that of what we had? are we really something that we want to be? 

since young, we had had dreams. dreams that were until today, not yet fulfilled. mayb some, but not all. u can say...tats enough. better than none. but...think again, how many dreams can we hav when we were young? those were the days.

those were the days my fren....the song rings, and yet, never put into much importance. the playing and laughing, i missed so much. a long long time ago, u used to think that ppl were good, but circumstances made them bad, i symphatis them. i pitied them. 

now, no one is out there to give pity tears to ppl on the road. so many fake beggers around the world. waiting to pound on ur silly pity. i wondered, where were my innocent thoughts. where did they go? why are we now in such a place where.....we cant even trust our frens no more? 

the tot that life was getting complicated is scary. i dono if its really comin, but....we all can feel it. see and know its comin. 

tiring

when u say things are done, they might be done for the timebeing, but...u wont know when it will come straight bac to u again. yulp, when i say i am done, with my thesis....tats a big word. no one knows if its really done, or...izit just another fake done. 

always, in everyday, it seem like a fake done. as it has always been one. so....wats the difference? hehe....

finally...like a stone off the chest. haha

haiz

i did it again, brought myself into trouble. everything is ruin by her. its always her. all my initial plans and all. i feel so sad. wats her prob? or...my prob? izit i am such a bad person? do i deserve all this? 

ewwwww!!!!!!

i hate her. i really do. she is so sickening. she makes ur day la if u wanna be emo whole day. if u wanna stay at home and look at something u never want to....just get a mail from her and tats it man!!!!!!!

and she acts as if, she cares. she does??? omg. tats nightmare!!!!!!!

y did we chose this road? there are many paths to take, many more better ones, but, y??? cos, its fate. we were meant to be tortured by this lady.

remember, the queen of Egypt? haiz....she is just like tat monster. its....a big long nightmare. and we all cant wait for it to be over. its just a matter of time right? haiz...its a very sad road. 

and i HATE it!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

aguhhhhh

sometimes, worrying makes life sad. makes a person do things that are not correct. makes us feel we're wasting our time. sometimes, we just worry...

worry bout how much time is left to complete our work. worry bout the left over work that is to due soon. worry bout things that....we just cant control. why? because that's the nature of human. its natural to worry bout others too. like how we worry bout our loved ones. tats very normal. 

however, is it worth the worrying? my mum worries bout me, bout my sis, and everything that has connections to us and herself. well, tats wat mothers always do. tats y their hair goes white. that's y they find themselves having so much prob, later...cos, of worrying, it affects their health. are all those worth it? or....was it just because of human nature to worry?

i find myself worrying bout things that i cant control. things tat i know, will never change even if i died over it. its a passion that makes a person loose control right?? tats wat worrying for nothing comes into the pic. 

i tell my mum not to worry so much. its time we can learn and take care of ourselves. its bout time we get our own problems taken care off by ourselves!! its all about time.....

my mum's last prob is on my sister. her academic choice. and then....its it. she should wake up and get into the retirement level. tats when, all the responsibilities are passed on. generation through generation. its part of life. 

a place i wanna go...

there is a place i would like to go. i wanna go there to look out. the sky should be bluer than it is over here. a place i knew a long time ago. a place where...i can find myself. hmm...that's the place in my mind.. it had been there for quite some time. just waiting for the right moment to make the move. 

i hope it is still as beautiful as it was in my memory. hehe...

i know what its like...yulp, i really do. i wont call...i wont msg...i wont talk...i wont. i wont even make any transmission to tell that i am there. over there....i wanna be in peace. nobody should disturb me. i want to be alone there. it might be for awhile...a week or 2, but at least, i have peace in me and a quiet time over there. 

everyone has their own dream. their own place of being themselves. 

just for me...

when i was a little younger, i looked at my cousins and said, its so difficult to go away when u are attached, even if you are goin away for something good! just cos u will miss your other half here, who might not be goin over with u...u do not want to go and make that change in your life for the better.

now....look at me. am i facing the same prob? my bf and i were just talking bout malaysia....my older post. and...we ended up...not very happy. zzz...

well...when i am angry, i think about all the consequences and probabilities that might happen. you can say i think too much and things like that...but, i tell u one thing for sure. i wanna go. and if its not goin to last, then it wont last. 

its up to us, if we wanna make that happen. but...let me tell you one thing, everytime we quarrel, i think of what might be, if we were not together. just like...this wont happen! just like what happen when we disagreed. 

'don reply me, i am trying to slp. nite.' what makes you think that, i will just forget bout this? i know i might, due to my memory and all the other MORE important things in my life that i HAVE to do. thats y,...i am writing this moment of time down in this blog, so that as time pass..i still read back and remember how and why things might not happen between us. 

if this continues, we will just end up begging on streets. it wont be like sesame street u know? so many cute fun puppets talking to u with thousands of ppl looking at you shooting. its not the same. by then...mayb ppl would be looking at us with eyes full of sympathy. 

was ur pening kepala due to me? if it was, just let me know. i will shut myself up and talk only when asked to. then u wont get ur kepala pening prob. might as well find another girl who wont make ur head pain right? i tot it was a perfect and wonderful idea. it should be workable if we try. you don try, you wont know. hehe...

thats life. when u think things are goin on well, it may just be the beginning of a thunder storm. who needs that? YOU. you need the pour of rain to awaken you from what sadness u are goin through now with me and just leave for good. 

bless u

wat!?!?!?!

haiz....i cant believe it. its such a stupid thing to believe. after 11 years of lesson, you still don't get it? how could u ever trust what the gov say till they have done it? i tot everyone should remember, not to trust ppl who break promises till they have done it all and perfect? i don say...i am a perfectionist. i am not! but, all these while, has it not been obvious tat this is a lesson taught? we have been through so much since 1997. since then, hav we ever got better then b4? ppl go down, way down with us, and are already shooting high up, better than b4, and of cos, better than us. how much more can we go further?

malaysia is capable of anything. even making shocking jumps! but, it is also famous for its downpour of sudden plunge like nigeria falls. i think ppl who have been observing stock markets directly or indirectly should know that. its very significant. those who had spent much to invest in malaysia, for that slightest hope for recovery...all lost hope for after 11 years of bullshit. 

how much more can we go further in this recession?  malaysia goin further would mean the end of malaysia. there is nothing left. we don excel in anything, except fairy tales. how are we goin to make it to wawasan 2020?? its just another few more years, and we should be there..but, will we be there? the answer now...is so obvious. NO!!!! 

continue on all the politics...and then we realise one fine day, no one will be interested in wats malaysia turning into. even what that is goin on in malaysia...ppl feel so bored. everyday, the same thing. is there nothing better malaysia can do to progress?? we just stuck here. with nothing. who cares? its just a place for those who wanna get easy money. ppl who are lazy, non progressive, not active in anything, and wants life easy. that ppl who would debate and tell me how great malaysia is. those are the ppl who want that kinda life. just like YOU!!! u can stay here your whole life if u want. i am goin off! thanks.

sad day

ish...i am very emo today lah.all the bad bad news comes. so boring. thesis thesis thesis. everyday is oni thesis. wat else do we do?

nothing. its all bout thesis only and only thesis. izit worth it?

then comes the next stupid thing. conference. the greatest and biggest stupid moment of our life time. ish.. y? y is my life so sickening??

and i gotta make all the stupid calls. hey..i am not a ever ready kinda parrot talking u know? zzz

making me feel as if i am always thre without getting tired. call call call. oh my god. fuck it!

i hate callings. i hate them

so so so much till i just cant take it anymore. its so stupid. u call on all these industries, even those stupid gerai, and ask them bout collaborations and getting competitive advantage. omg..it sounds so stupid. and its like....dam zzz!!

wat to do? haiz.....

so what happens..

ah....i wonder what happens next. what will things be like. i really do. when we can predict the future. just like....how things or ppl change, all the time.

when its not right....we think it wont be ok. when things are tot to be right, it wont be right sometimes. making ppl think...its so.....unpredictable.

just like...if dong starts playing with his stupid fifa....will he forget whats most important. his studies, his leg and me!

or...will ppl, likenormal plastic things fall apart when it is neglected? will ppl understand? will they really do? how far and sincere will they actually try to understand and make things change? for at least themselves?

how long more will a heart be in its centre position when things like BPQ happens? when its so unfair to ppl who actually tried their very best to work hard and so hard, and yet fail just cos they cant see or cheat during finals?

did we not work hard?

how bout our final paper? how izit that, when we work, we strive, and yet it comes bac to us like it was a piece of shit? where had all the effort went to and what was left worth the time and blood? its so....

are we goin to be really made to be or just because we had no choice? did we have a choice? oh...yes we did. we could have pulled out when things got hard. but, why din we? its because, we were meant to take this bumby road, down the way...and never let it go. we were meant to by the hands of god. not to let go of such a wonderful opportunity. to learn and taste to feeling of failing. to learn and taste what it feel like to be..rejected. to learn and taste the taste of sleepless nights. to be able to drink up the wine when we are painfull inside.

its...such a painful life.

where were we??

the sudden tot of actually goin on makes me so....not happy. haiz.. again and again, thesis work never ends. its...the never ending story. remember? the one where we had funny fyling bears? and my fren said i had no childhood life just cos i don run around with dogs and cats, playing in padi fields and getting myself into lots of scatches. zzz

well, mayb i was brought up in a more.....booky area. where...u don open ur door to find urself, looking at wooden houses with zink roofs! or...u don open ur window, to suddenly find ur kids actually having fun with stray cats and feeding them with the same hands they had their breakfast. or...mayb i just don get the chance to hear cows moo, goats bleed...and horses neighing in the middle of the night. or..the sound of the tracktor moving in the fields to get padi. zzz

i was there too. my childhood. ppl have difference up bringin. and, i should say, i had a fair share of my fun too!! regardless of all the dirty running and shouting like mad fools...haha...i consider mine, proper and well done! a clap for my parents.

but, of cos we did stupid things and got our fair bit of beatings too!! haha....

its not how ppl perceive who we are, but, are we really wat they think? do ppl just want fun out of all the gossips and make a big hoo haa over it or do they really mean wat they say? are they sure and certain? do they take their lives upon and swar? i doubt.

for goodness sake. how many ppl in the cities today can see the stars? how many? with the polluted area and the smoke, wats left? dust!!
i don like ppl to criticise, but, is tat up to my control? nonono!!!
so, wats the fight about for?? jesus! they should know earlier...than wat is all these retarded critics when u don know anything. dono about wats goin on! dono things tat others have gone through. think b4 u speak. don be a nin con poop!! tats bad!!

its not a tradition izit? to actually make things so complicated? how bout, we just all go bac to square one? where things we...all over tin mining? now? wats the rocking about? wats the whole twist and turn for? presidenship? pls lah! read up ur history. we should be all known than not.

i remember, when i was young, we use to go in and out of s'pore just like, it was just another part of earth on the other side of the sea, tats all! now, when we go over, its like...goin over to a place where ppl look at u differently and make sconful eye sights at u. y? thanks to our big big uncles...they helped us create enemies. wow! and when we go shopping, the look of a malaysian wallet with all the RM inside, is...so so so...worthless.
tats...worthless alright! sell urself!

terresa freed

wat crap shit? just cos she is not a threat to the country? i find this so stupid. or...they just slap themselves on the faces? this is so....stupid. its like..creating nonsense so tat ppl will actually hav Malaysia in the bulletins. and....wow..!! we made it! great!

wats a threat?
boms? political violence? or...just cos her voice makes something in others thinking? is she tat good? to inspire? or...is the gov scared of something tat others cant know about? how active is malaysia in the terms of freedom of speach? we don practice democracy, we pratice demecracy berparlimen. so...how far do u think ppl in malaysia can talk?

this is madness. we're turnin outsleves into....the topic of discussion. how.....bersepadu is malaysians? wow.....lets bring up the past and make a real change. as if its goin to happen. y cant they just shut up and keep low? after all, tats wat ppl have been doin for the past donkey yrs..is tat not so? i tot we always HAD to remain SILENT. in case one fine day we come bac to see ourselves, locked up. gosh! this is mad

don care if u don bother

of cos...life goes on without ppl around u. it..depends, wat kind of ppl u are mixing with. it goes on to influence ur thinking, ur needs, ur way of handling other...many thing.. but, all goes down to, who u really are.

deep down inside, u may be someone, but, do others look at u and say:'yea...she/he is some one.' do they? or do they look at u and don bother to give any comments?

if u wanna be someone ppl bother talking about, in their daily lives, then be tat some one sincerely. don fake it out just to somebody ppl talk about. its so irritating! zzz

fake ppl are the worst kinda human kind possible. they think oni bout fame and not sincerity. its really pissing ppl off. well, its the education in them tat is not making their lives worthwhile. sad case..come all the way up to a uni standard, and this is wat they have. o.......

bad bad day!

today is a bad day for me. things din go right. came bac from tax, went to old town for frens birthday celebration. then after tat, zzz...felt so....zzz...cant slp but tired, cant study cos tired, cant do anything. haiz.

then now, dong is giving me prob...making me feel..very sad, mummy and kai kai quarreling, so many probs...zzz....all these ppl, they make my life interesting yes, i admit. but, izit at this time? haiz....

communication

wats communication? to me, it can be in many forms, but when it comes to sensitive things, face to face is the best way out. talk them all out, and lets solve probs. once and for all, get it over and done with. y drag on and make things bad? wats the point?

it will oni worsen relationships and make ur lives sad and angry. both parties will not be happy with each other. one don satisfy one's need, another will not know, what izit that is not satisfied. is tat not a bother? tats a real lot of bothers!!

long ago

o...have i ever told u, this was a pic taken when both me and riana were thrown into a place call, reality. where we had to go all the way out there for something, we never knew, would be a waste of time and effort. it was...wat i call, sickening! but, wat the hell..its all over now. its just for memory. and all that has been, we will always remember!

ground no. 1

ground no. one, never ever think about doin something stupid! no...i cannot do anything stupid and silly! its out of my reach!! never think of that.

tat was a bad little tot. i know it is...who cares? i don bother. i do wat i want to and wat makes me feel MYSELF! yes, and thank u!

my way...its goin to be MY way, if u are sorry at the end of the day, its ur prob.

wat the hell@@

i dono....i seriously dont! and don ask me y i dont cos i have tot of that stupid question a billion and one times, and nothing! nothing comes out!!!!

i seriously find it hard to believe that some ppl could just get pass away tat easily. how come i cant? wats so different in me that i CANT??? yes, tell me!
izit my brains? or my eyes? or?? wat??? i don see any difference! i cant take it anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!

life is so unfair, nothing is fair i know, but does it have to till tat extent? till the point where i don get wat i paid so much for? wat i have been waiting to prove and get at least a final-sigh..i finally did it?? did i not deserve such a treatment or was it tat i really don?
how can i not? i worked hard, so hard for wat i wanted to get, to at least...hav that little comment in my little heart, but, it never comes. never!!

i don see y i don deserve it, i really dont see y.. and how can other ppl who did not work hard for it, actually get wat they wanted?
i want that too..i really do. if i were to choose between working hard and getting the easy way out, i would take the easy way out. they both get the same outcome. wats the point of working so hard when life's short? i wanna be like them too. i really do. wat does it take to take it easy and make my life better?


do i have to take away my reputation? repo or wat? of wat? as if i am some kinda CEO, or a manager, wat? why does it even matter? i am nobody right now, and i dont see myself being somebody in the future that i have to keep my reputation of some highly well little student, who does everything she can, but, still never gets there.

oh....yes, never gets there. the whowhowho who never gets there...such a sad and pathetic story. should the world be told such a story? or should it be just held a secret? should i be the oni one who knows it..or should i announce it. share it with the whole wide world, that this is such an easy way to success and good results. y not? its so much easier. and...so much fun loving...

enjoying b4 finals...o....how many ppl can afford that luxury? i would love too! trust me....

but, sometimes, i just never have the little luck of being dirty and bitchy. mayb...i used them all up during my sec school like, to be too over bitchy. therefore, sad case. round round round~~

walah...the world still goes round. like....a....nin con poop!! ##

yokay...here goes..

ok, here it goes, once again, life without any worries.

how to be there? its hard, not easy at all, and never achievable. not that we cant reach it, it keep running away, and we need time to catch up, and that lack!

when its time to let go, let go. don hold on to something u will never hold long and in the end, hurt urself more than anyone else. when i was in secondary school, a fren of mine, cos of one little mistake, the whole of the other school was all against her. now, she wanted to make things right, u think possible? i don think so. they find her very irritating and always 'acting'. was she? she was not, she was sincere. but ppl on the other hand saw something else...not wat she wanted to project in her whole life.
off she went, and....tats it lah! hehe.

another thing, looks, i don see y looks are so important. they don really matter at all. in fact, who cares? pretty girls are just for show. they don mean anything at all. tats all, u are pretty, u get a few more looks from others, a few more flowers that u never want to see in ur life, wats the point? i don see why ppl want to be pretty and beautiful there when they don want any attention at all. zzz
i had a fren, who as not very pretty, fat and...just normal. and now? she wants to make it even better. on her frenster, she worte, lets make ourselves better looking. now...tat sound so extra fake?!?!?
looks fade, and...its no point to make urself BE pretty. just be baturally urself.

sometimes, we cant help it can we? we say we gotta do this and tat, but....things just don go out the way we wanted it to be at 1st. we're all lazy pigs..hehe...who aint no wanna do anything serious in life. for me, i just wanna be normal. lead a simple life, be happy with my family. donkey's goin to make that happen too!! hehe...we make each other happy. tats wat life is all about. to be HAPPY.

yulp...so..be happy. who cares of wat other's think of?
they can be much better of than u, but, so????

its true

yulp, its true, its like 4.42, and i am finally up, 4.42am, in the mornin.

i did a very silly mistake in accounts paper, the 1st paper, and i tot i could scored. looks like it was another let down. of cos i am sad, i am not that kinda freakin ppl who go like, ITs OVER!!! s..GET REAL... too bad, tats not me, i am kinda...i dono how to describe it. ish

so...here i am, up and studying, fighting on. i just hate let downs, and i really don wanna see them comin. 'but the always do'....

i done with it...and i am still fighting....wonder y..@@

guess tats life when...u're stuck! ~~~

2 more hours

another 2 more hours and i will be able to determined my faith in accounts. this is the last accounts paper for the whole of my degree course and i am looking so forward to get it over and done with it.

yes...yes..call me an accountant..but, so wat? don mean i must love accounts so much i cant live without it kay....@@

i bet its just life, we see things in a very positive way do we? accounts, here i come and this time, is the last chance to see if i really, can take wat accountants do for a living. conso..muacks!

manners

wats manners? anybody? wats being polite?

some ppl just wont be. some just take things for granted. they think that when others are doin it, its also for them. which, of cos...sometimes, ppl have no choice out of, manners.
whoever, what do these ppl get in return? nothing.

how could some one, who just eats out of others pockets, and not return anything in favor? me and lilian, we both buy things bac to eat and share, cook for each other. and she? she just think of herself. no one but HERSELF. yulks. worst kinda attitude cases.

she cooks for her own, and never ever cooks for us, mayb cos she dono how to. and, when others cook, it includes hers. omg..i cant believe there is such a person in town. no family up bringing at all! and, i am her fren. wat a disgrace!

i feel so ashame to be part of her life, and she, being part of me...is even worse. lets up a stop shall we? hehe....things will turn better. no cheap skat ppl in my life, around me...making use of me...and taking things from me just cos they are POOR..shame on them.

conspiracy...deal!

yes, of cos, when we have made up our minds tat something wont work out right, it will never work out right. but....but...sometimes, its not up to us to say. ppl who hav great experience and know wats goin round the world will tell u, it does not always go UR way. yulp...its always very true.

the earth is not turning because of u, its turning as it always have been. it is not around u, its around our big sun. hasn't it seem like common sense to u?

yea..accept wats goin on is not too bad izit? or..listening wat others have to say would be a much better idea, rather than goin all out on something tat, 90% think wont turn out right. or rather, ppl think it wont turn out right.

over ambitious. yulp, how many times has it seem tat it has lead u to a dead end? cant u learn from mistakes? sometimes, its not tat u are incapable of, or others are not willing to help out, but, its just how things are meant to be! remember, its not U tat the world is goin round and round for. its nature.

again and again, u bang the wall urself. hit high and make a low turn bac, by telling how much work others should have put in at the beginning. go all out without listening, and u will say, u never told me so! well, how many times would u wanna bang the wall and make ur face flat? a flat tire wont go far. so would a face.

ppl around u. yes....there are all kinds of ppl, good bad, tall thin, fat short, smart stupid...u name it. all types. but, choose who to listen, and ur left and right man well, or u will end up, looking at urself in the mirror with nothing by ur side. they said that...Cesar was a man with high dignity and chose his right man well, but, the right,man fell in love with wat we call...woman. lush! yes...so all went wrong again. is it just a lush? or do u really find him sensible and ur type of guy? he loves u? or cos u are pretty and outspoken and stupid?

be choosy, yes...always. chose the best idea that comes from ur ppl, not others. thats wat the kings always do. never never listen blindly. chose them well. as well as to lead a whole troupe of ppl.

is tat hard to do?

i don think so. its wat we call: COMMON SENSE.
darling girl, u should know better.

hair lossssss

oh great, just when things are getting a little busy busy busy, my hair starts falling like mad. i dono.....just cos yesterday i was too lazy to wash my hair, tons of them fell down like its snowing..zzz..pengsan!!
well, its bothering me, of cos it does!! i am a girl k!! and hair is a very essential part of my body! ~~ my dad told me to cut short and see, mayb due to stress also. tomorrow i will wash my hair again and see if the amount is amazing once more. aih....sad case!

wat a life, god...with aap comin on wed, i am freaking out already. and this is making me even more scared of everything tats goin to happen. and, one more thing is that, everytime i eat outside food, my tummy, my whole body feels like...its not there. feels cold, tired and very very jellified. zzz...
oh my...wats goin on?? i have been eating the same food for the past 2 yrs in this place, nothing went wrong.

and nightmares...oh god....cant i have a night of peace? i need to slp.....
i seldom have any in the past, and i keep having them now! even an afternoon nap makes me even more tired, cos in my dreams, god knows wat i am doin. zzz

haiz...life. my life...wat a life.....##

sad

oh well, things are not that good lately. hope it will turn out better than it is now when finals are all over. haiz

y? y things go bad? y cant they just be the same? its not the same anymore u know? u dont? i feel so k, and its really not the same anymore. mayb to me, but not to u yet.

u dont feel so? or am i a little emotional these days? a little too tired? a little too..uncertain?

its not that we have not met longer than this b4, but....i feel different. u are different. u keep telling me things are the same, and nothing has changed. but...are u really sure? i don think so and its not the same. i know. i can feel it in my bones.

y?? y things change??

thanks

sometimes...after a long sem of working hard and continuously over the same thing...finally thins have to settle down. even for just awhile..a moment..its worth all the effort.

this whole sem, we have been working on the thesis...giving up almost everything tat we could do just to get it done with. and after all the prob we hav gone through..all the scolding and humiliating.. things are better and comin to the end of the bumpy road. its a little smooth now..just tat...we don know how long more it will remain like tat.

just came bac from pd for the weekend..and it was tiring. we still are..but..not stopping at all. more things will be comin up sooner or later. just a matter of time. after this week...its a whole week of our study week. to prepare for the finals...mad!!@@
then...the sem break. oh my..thats the worst i guess. a whole stretch of work. gotta do the listing..plus our questionnaire...with the rest of them...and prepare for the article submission. thats the climax of the day.
after all these..the new sem starts. it starts but...it has never ended for us. so..there wont be any start!!

next...will have our sem again...short one this time..with the continuing of the thesis work..and the conference. madness..!!

anyways...i really did learn. learn lots. and learn to be myself. not to care how others think and wanna bother. its really something tat we gotta be truthful with. if we dont know..ask! tats the best. not just sit and wait. aih...

however..things are always lighter or rather brighter when u see the color of the other. its always like tat. we get to know ppl more when we spend time with them. for my group..it seems tat amanda is getting on track. and..i am very happy..she is more..into the conversation now..and..we're all happy!! its like a big big family!! hehe

of cos!

funny. today, one of my frens said, she loves oni tax. well, she did well in her tax. of cos...she liked it. however.....why the interest? y oni tax did she planned to do well? or..have to do well?

just last sem, we had our basic tax paper. and then happened this great outstanding drama. now...we're having our advanced tax. and the same drama did not occur. but...changed faces.

how? she was scared. she admitted it herself. i know. she knows tat if she din do well, she will have to bare a lot of cost. and those cost, will never be easy to repay. even now.
at this point of time, a person in trouble will never find another solution, no one will help her. every1 wants to see the real her. lo and behold, she did much better than expected. how? haha...i wonder. poor sinyin, the amazing pain that she has to go through now is something no one can und. she was...being...brutally killed just like tat. one shot on her face. pap!

and it all ended with peiqi saying, i like tax. ironically, the oni reason was far from the love of tax. it was more to prove herself and for once and for all, clean her dirty soul alive. never will anyone believe the poor little sinyin again. never. its proven dead right.

think about it

suddenly, today, i asked myself, izit really what i will be? or izit really what i want?

is studies my cup of tea? is this corporate life style my future commitment? is it this kinda life that i will have to go through?

currently, i really dono. i don like but still i had to go through. all these while, i struggled with sickening accounts and all its stupid subjects. and now, here i am, and wondering is it a waste of my time? doin something i have no interest and future in. mastering something i cant master even for that mili second. trying to figure out things using logic and fighting to pass every test.

is it really worth?

i really dono...anything...not at all. ppl say since u are at this level, y not just continue. but, izit really what i want? is that degree something that i really want in my life? i don see the connection between me and accounts. nor with any audit work. nor...with any of any any of them. so...wats the point of goin on and struggling through all the pain?

i find myself in a position tat i have no choice. if i had, i wont continue. but, do i? how izit possible that one would find it...so interesting and fun to take up something u really liked? but, again, would i really do well in that condition?


i dono. what is seen now is a big no. i don do well in my studies. and all these while, i have just been a show of my own play. have i? or....did i play my show well? just like what augustus ceaser said b4 his lying bed. did he? do his part in the role of a king well? or was he not? am i? or am i not?

this play will last till my life ends. and i will think bac again just like he did. did i do it well? did i play the part i played well?

wat?~~~

i read one of my fren's personal msg on her msn today and guess wat? she wrote there, i am a slut. haiz...how could such a thing happen? and do u know who she is? the chairman of CDS. omg!!!!

anyways, how a person views themselves actually brings them to a certain level of self-esteem. today, i read a mail, by my dad, he forwarded it to me. inside, i wanna be the coffee. i wanna be the coffee that gives out extra aroma and never fails to bring a smile. not the carrot nor the stupid eggs. zzz...

tats wat i should do. my life now is busy, and i should say, very uncertain. the next min, something pops out and wala! i am gone for good. to me, i just wanna be happy and content with what i have now and be thankful for such a wonderful and great experience. look, how many ppl can go thriugh wat i am goin through now? hehe....not many i guess. tats y i know how its like. and i will know what its like.

for the time being, i just wanna climb bac slowly to the 3.0 girl i am. at least i am for good. looking on how things were, no point giving up, no use also. no one is goin to encourage that. hehe...so, just hang on tight and i will try my very best. i have nothing to fear...just get it over and done with happily. hehe

my frens said, y are u so busy? this cant go that cant go...everything cant go. well, my frens, too bad. i just wanna be busy for the time being. i am not scared of loosing any of them. i know there are ppl everywhere. and, i am not in the mood of continuing something on with them if they cant und anything at all. as frens, they got to. i don mind not goin,. nor do i mind losing such frens.

van said, just do wats right. dong said so too, just tat he cant und y i gotta make it till i cant find time for my frens. although he said, just find time for him is enough. haha...
my mum said, y bother? she actually cant und y i am so busy and they are not! my sis said, she is just as busy as i am. cos her finals is comin. well, lets all get busy and enjoy the business we can now. who knows in the future, we might not even be busy cos we're jobless? haha....

thanks for all

i seriously have to thank my mummy for all the great trainin given to me since young. since young, i have learn how to cook and clean everything in the house.
just a matter of, am i willing to do it or not. tat's all.

sadly for some ppl, they cant even was simple things properly. and tats a very sad case. i should say, very disappointing. as ladies, cleaning up and washing is the most basics. going bac to the most ancient, it has always been a ladies job. although we are looking at equality between man and woman, but, somehow or rather, this always falls under a woman's duty.

how can u not scrub the floor when washing the toilet? tats y, its not easy...u gotta put in energy and not just simply touch it on its nice surface and let it be. its shocking tat there are ppl nowadays, with a degree holder's mentality to do such a stupid thing.

and then, go on complaining bout others cos they din do their work properly? or...did not do at all? come on...u din do much of a good job urself either!
anyways, don pinpoint at others and see what u have to show. then, if its much better, u got all the right to complain. don slap ur own face just like an idiot! @@

hehe

baby said he's buying something for me...i wonder what. hehe...
so sweet. i just cant wait for him to come. its this thursday. yippy!!

we haven met for a long time...and i really miss him so so so much!
time passes slow la when u are waiting for dong! hehe...
but, its goin to b busy days for me b4 that...cos, monday i gotta go library, tuesday got discussion, wed got interview and thursday after class got discussion too. he'll come at night!

love love!!

if oni....

if oni sports shoes where ok. if only. haiz...
had 2 whole days of traveling. was really kinda madness lah. walking here and there like some mad cows..haha..but, some kinda experience we had also. seems tat utm is a great place to b. its really not as zzz an stupid as we tot it would be. sadly, din manage to get any pics, cos, i forgot to bring the camera! left it in the car. ish...silly me! hhaa
they really have nice views and cool places to chill out.

now, its a sat and i am bac, in sg long. just resting and chilling. i want to start my work sooner or later. my revisions also. tuesday is presentation and also...thesis discussion. monday might wanna stop by the library to make some reference. want to see some examples too! hee..

wed is monash day. interviewing all the big ppl out there. hopefully though. cos, they might be so busy. its monash's open day. so...wonder y are they there for. then thurs my dong is comin. so sweet. cant wait for him to come over. its such a long time. our 1st anii. hehe...meeting my cousin too! for lunchy! my sister...wonder if she can join us for just a meal. hope so!

well, lots of thing happened. my sis lost her hp, silly her...now she gotta buy one herself. hehe...

i plan to get a new one too. after all the hard work, and running, to sort of...give myself a treaty! gege....mummy din seem to say much, just complain like usual lah. hehe....
mayb will get it next month. when my 2 months salary is out! haha.....dong's fren will get it for me. then will pay him bac! yeah!!

well, busy busy...but, yet, i kinda enjoy this kinda moments where i really squeeze my life here and there. its a real great experience. hehe...kena marah all and get things done through the hp..blah blah blah...all the stuf lah. haha....its kinda interesting though, to walk around places that u dont know, asking around like some kinda mad cow...haha...its seriously...amazing! haha

hump

attitude prob. this is seriously attitude problem man. sometimes, i just hates it so much tat i just don wanna look at her face. she scares ppl by comin at the door like a ghost. if she can really walk that slowly, and softly, why cant she do things the same way too? softly and nicely? she bangs like nobody's biz, no wonder no one likes her. must be the karma effect.

everytime, ppl just got to keep quiet and not bother, swallow everything. now ppl are having brains, why on earth do they have to put up with her?

her volume is terrible, and she is only talking in the room. why? is she born with such a loud and ugly voice? is she tat insensible to to the extreme that she is brainless? i really wonder what she thinks of herself. as someone worthy or someone useless on earth.

getting into another prob is ur own choice, don blame others and make things having to go ur way just because you are busy. just because u are busy and things have to go ur way is not a very pleasing excuse for ppl to give in to u. as u know, ppl have always been giving in to u. and, thats bad. really bad. to the extend that, ppl hate it and cant stand it anymore. there is reasons behind everything step others make, they dont do it for fun. you can just on sticking to ur guy frens and not let them say anything about u. even if they did, u would happily accept it right? unlike if its comin out from a female. its the total opposite.

see...see how far u can squimp ur way through this yr. i wont give in to u anymore, and i have had enough. its not ur way all the time. i feel, my patience have come to a stop and i don see y i should give in to a nonsentic asshole like u.

2 more to go

yulp, another 2 more test to go. one more on this sat, accounts paper and another the week comin, ecommerce. but...on week10, there is another subjective test, which is...RMP. dam it. i just hate yappy so much. i cant understand, how a professional can actually gain that kinda status with his current ability. yes, when the management is on heels and feet, they wanna make someone into someone. but, they have overlooked certain things. which, has a big impact on all of us.

we were having a chat the other day and low and behold, his ugly image portray the ugly little duckling. well, what to do? u cant hide secrets unless, its not one. sooner or later, it will be revealed. how long can he do that..?? no one knows, but, who cares, we just gotta protect ourselves from now on.

its a terrible thing tat we gotta go through but, its a hoice made and done.

logic

He that cannot reason is a fool.
He that will not is a bigot.
He that dare not is a slave.

~Andrew Carnegie

wow...logic is somewhat in between. its hard to understand logic. seriously. ppl today...only look at what is taught on books, nothing more nothing less. and, everything is based solely on, ur books. so, tell me how many ppl have logic minds in the, and think logically?

i use to remember, my teacher used to say, its common sense. so, whats commons sense? no one is born with common sense. its the exposure that we get to actually get and know common sense. and, that is when we know and start to be aware. learn and then apply.

twillight~~

sometimes, its not just one thing, it can be caused by so many other things. its really so heartbreaking. i find that, silent really kills...and it kills silently. just like how it comes and goes.

there was once that i started telling my frens, what kind of man that will make us feel worth. i used to say, man are some funny like creatures, when u show and care too much, they will never appreciate u. just like a recent case, melvin and his girl. obviously, we, as outside parties will never know that he, such a so call gentleman can be such a dangerous and disgusting man.

i asked my fren, is it that hard to know if ur partner is sad and down, moodless and crying? that she really wants someone by her side? she said, man are things that will never und such a want from woman. they will never know. they find us hard to und and hard to please. is that a very hard thing to do? i think all women can make their man happy. its just, if u know and realized it or not.

its if u are sincere enough and caring enough, to actually open ur heart to accept and und what she or he really wants. and, its not surprising that all girls would ask milvin's girl to leave such a useless man.

when men do not appreciate what the women does, slowly women will feel sad and lonely, and in the end, they have no mroe feelings at all. its in them. time takes them all away. and on the other hand, the men would try to push all the blame to the women, and never admit that they are wrong. thats what men are.

there use to be a saying, man are no different from cows. y? they moo..till they stop, it means, they are dead. moo=complain, expect, want and keep on wanting

cows eat all they can and save it, so are men. they take all they have now, and then, when its enough, they will just munch to themselves and not bother bout whats goin on. after that, they slp off like nobodies business! in the mornin, they do it over and over again.

a leaped never, changes its skin, tats so true. man are like that too. they never change. they just want U to change. tats all they can expect.
its never hard to find out if ur other partner is sad and down, just pay a little more attention, and u will realized. sometimes, they just want ur time. nothing else. if its that hard, then they will know if u tell. they some how orrather, will und ur situation and change.

oh my...forgotten... :(

oh dear...i was forgotten for good...oh my...oh no!!!!!!
wat to do? nothing. haiz...so sad...i am so emo...
reply also short like anything. haiz..

decision made!

yulp, i have made up my mind and nothing is goin to change it. even if she quits, i still will. 2 factors are just more than enough. at 1st i thought we could all count on her, but i am wrong. very wrong. all she wants is the marks to be high when she has finished all of it. and, i cant believe what i am seeing.

fine, say whatever that u like. my decision is made, i will change my assignment group next sem. its more like a relief to me. i dono if it will be a bigger challenge but, i know i will face it just like any other problems in my life.

yesterday, me and sawi quarrel over this kinda matter, which is not worth our time at all. well, its set! tats wat i am goin to do! yulp!

memo 1

when i was thinking bout posting this post, it occur to me that one fine day, something is goin to happen to this piece of work myself. it might cause me a lot of unnecessary trouble, but i thought, it might be a good way for just letting go once and for all.

i dono how many times i have actually shut her off on her face but i really do kinda enjoy it? its like a very pleasuring work to be done, whenever. no need to worry bout the consequences tat's goin to happen, i just wanna do it.

ppl who are suppose to be respected, are actually not. ppl who are suppose to be working on what they should are not. ppl who gets credit out of others blood are just everywhere. tats the pain i get all the time. for a moment, i tot i was goin to kill. but again, i would not lay my hands on a creature worth nothing at all in this world.

i find myself a very realistic person to the fact where, i can be very vindicated at times, and trust me, u wont wanna spet on my tail for no reasons. it brings u to another world. my world.

ppl who din't mean it, i know, but those who did, i know. its obvious. i don keep track.
ok, how many ppl in this world are not into money? who does not unless that person is farking rich then a penny or 2 wont count. but, i do. u can say i am calculative, or what ever words tat come into ur mind,(but i doubt, with ur ability...its unlikely to happen)i don give a dam.
money matters. no money, no talk. well, don think i dono who owed me money. as if i am really a retard? zzz...pls...

i am a very very very...unforgiving and unforgetting person. do me once, i will remember for life. trust me, u wont like it.
blackmagic, who doesn know anything bout it...but, it takes ppl's life. even the person who played with it.
just do something bout it and go away. its just meant to be,...ur life. sadness. anger..noThing else. accept it. pray hard for it. and i will go on. with all my classy friends with brains and taste. unlike u, carry on with that skucky life of urs. no one cares. do u ?? i wonder myself.

yulks!