like no way man!!!!

sometimes, it really has got u on hold. being in a relationship, it does have its side effects, and when u are making a turning point to get one done, there are things u gotta sacrifice. does it look very no no to u?? i don see the main purpose. if 2 cant commit to each other, making last minute changes on each other's trust and so on..wats the point? u wanna have a girl by ur side, make her trust u as much as u can trust her. make her feel that she is there...if u cant, then don give her high hopes at the beginning.. i don see the point. y do ppl have to go through all these nonsense? yea...some say, it was the other party who got themselves into trouble. hey, u know something, trouble dont spell themselves k? we spell them and we made them. the way they are. we don have a choice? bull crap!!!! wat do u mean? feelings don just go away for a reason. we made them left us. we made them lost inside out hearts. does it even matter to some one that u don care anymore?? said...is easier to be than done. trust me, u gotta realise this urself. when u are in such, u wont know what are u thinkin at all...making others wonder...and ponder. they suffer. do u get the fun? no...of cos not!!
when my fren told me bout ur play, i was shock. really, trust me to trust u so much! how can that be happening to u?? a person i looked up so highly upon!!!! give me a chance to say that this is all wrong. my impression on u was like..down the drain oh lord!!! really....

when u told me that there was nothing, u think i am stupid?? do i lookstupid?? to u?? do i? fren, give u a piece of advice, nvr judge a book by its cover.
trust these words and they will bring u a long way out there...

max!!

sometimes, its not easy to say wat u really feel inside. to ppl around u or those whom u don reallt know. its really not very nice, keeping everythin inside. not that u don wanna talk about it, but, u just cant say it. u like it or not, u have to accept it and take it the way it is...thats y, life's sucks!

so?? not everyone is the same.

same source, adam and eve. but, so? all can be so different. there are so many types of ppl in this world. it does not matter if u are from the same cultural or not, but, i have to say, ppl with their own thought, own mentality are also out there. to me, if you cant accept the fact that not everyone has to agree with u, then something is wrong with u. u might have something call attitude prob.

i did it?? i don think so. i am not tat powerful.

really?

wow! i cant believe it? is this really true?? KK told me that simon wants to sabotage our social night! zzz...i cant let this happen. he has being very stupid. he went to kc and told her stuf, and ask her not to tell anyone, me also...and, he came to me and ask tell me stuf, and told me not to tell anyone. zzz...now, that is really a stupid move. he should jolly well know, who are we. we are like...so...close. how would it be possible to not let each other know bout this? is a society, no way! he is outta his mind.

however, i on the other hand, would like to see how far can he continue this game. remember the saying, keep ur frens close, keep ur enemies closer! this is wat i and 3 of my closer members think. bull crap! zzz...playing with the wrong company! brainless! this is goin to be the joke of the century!!!!

total chillout!

its been a whole day. wow. tat was like...cool! after the midterm for my OB paper, i was like a bird. i cant wait to get home...miss my mum and my sister. my dad is gonna get tickets for me later. he just made a call to asked me bout the details.

after test, simon, the vice of src called me up and asked me to meet him at dsa, it was after my paer, and all of us wanted to get some lunch. haiz...wat to do. had no choice. zzz...went over to meet him again. well, as usual, expected...i knew wat was he goin to tell me. bout the social night.

he wanted a join. how was tat possible?? i mean, we have both different objectives, and the program flow it totally different. he has a dream, so does cds. not to say, i should not lie, i was not really into it. but, i knew how he felt. the want ans desire to fulfill his dream. just tat, there was one small problem, he forgot that his dream is not a one man show thing. he din realize that playing the whole ting by himself is impossible. unable to get the support from ms sum, he was really desperate....or should i say...very upset. his dream...was like..down the drain! however, he actually made a call to the dean, mr lai, and mr lai actually seem very into his idea of having the FAM anniversary night. well, monday wanting me to meet up with him, was the best he could try to pursued me to actually either join forces or cancel mine! ITS A BIG NONO!!!!! asking to cancel this dream of cds is totally bull crap! i cant imgaine he actually had tat in mind, or something like join force. then came the reality part. who is gonna take charge and lead. i am very sure that cds is able to take charge themselves, without the need of others. and i have faith in the oc and her vice. basically, i don see the connection here??? its like...impossible??!!

i wanted to tell him there and then, but, tot of wat mr lai would think, cds chair, a very very thick headed person...hmmm...i am not letting cds into the bad books of the uni. tats y i have decided to meet up with mr lai and see how much he can try and talk to me. i stand at the point of not wanting to hurt anyone, not my committee, not src.

its a decision that i have to make...and its all after a day of craps! this is life, gotta handle it just the way it wants to be....

love it, live it!

save me

save me from temptation
save me from anger
save me from irritation
save me from confusion
save me from all these
that will do me no good

has it been always me?
has it always been like this?
has it caused me much sufferings?
has it made me the who i am?

why do i have to take all these?
why do i have to swallow all?
why is it me?
why was it me who always gets it?
why me?

i don see the relation
i don see the pride
i don see the benefits
i don see any
so..wats the point?

its not my fault
its non of my business
its not me in that situation
its not under my control

but, i can change it
i can get away from it
i can manage it if i want to
i will find my way
even if i hurt u
I AM SORRY
but, too bad, its all done
the cut is there

save me from this,
and u will be ok
but, do it fast
i have lots of temper in me
waiting to be exploded into ashes
like a volcano erupting
a hurricane raising
a mad dog on the run

save me...i need wat i need
the peace and freedom
the wanting of having my life
the freedom of speech
the freedom of reality
the freedom of killing


give me the license to kill
or the power to demolish
give me time to let go
or the mind to forget
give it to me.
all will be in peace

dam it!

i am burning red! just like this color! life's sucks when u have to tolerate so many things. things are fine, but, ppl are the worst thing in life u will every wanna think of. i just cant imagine, how can she be such a selfish person. so? awal awal already kasi muka masam. hello, org ada kacau lu semasa tidur ke? think la k? really attitude prob. asked u k, if u wanna eat later b4 class, u din say anything! i am talking to a wall izit? fine, from now on, u lead ur life, an i will go mine. u can call ur bf everyday to temen u here, and i will b out of this place asap. one i get a room right, i will leave. don worry. try appreciating me k? cos, u cant afford a room to urself. i don care bout the deposit la..i really don give a dam. 700 or wat ever....ur face gives me cancer, which is not worth 700 only. now u know, improving urself k? think about it! fuck u!